In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about the building the muscle of your mind. We hear a lot of talk about physical exercise and strength building. Which is good! But we need to talk about building up the mind, too.
Garbage In / Garbage Out
What we consume affects what we produce.
Doing reps
We need to use affirmations to build up and tone muscle. Repeat truth to yourself until you believe it.
Powerlifting
If you want to be headstrong, it takes time. You’ve got to keep working it over time. I can guarantee you, you are already stronger than you think you are.
Discipline equals freedom. We think of discipline as uncomfortable – but you’ve got to TRAIN your brain how to think. It literally rewrites your brain chemistry! (Look up Dr. Caroline Leaf’s research on this!) If you build healthy habits in the way you think, it really does set you free. But it takes discipline!
The Creative Man is our weekly feature to showcase creativity, music, art, poetry, and more. This week, we feature a live concert special from Austin, Texas performer JD Casper and his band as they play at The Beez Knees.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher shares some quotes from stoic philosophers. Stoicism is an interesting philosophy that was popular in the Early Greek and Roman Empire. That philosophy has had resonance all throughout history. No manmade philosophy is perfect – so if you poke at it long enough, of course you’ll find something you disagree with. There’s a bit of a resurgence in Stoic philosophy these days, almost in a counter to the more emotionally driven and amoral culture that has been stirred up these days.
Stoic philosophy teaches the development of self control and fortitude to combat and overcome destructive emotions.
You can see why that would resonate with some today, and be quite controversial with others.
Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor, born in 121 AD. He is known for his treatise on stoic philosophy entitled “Meditations.”
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be One.” – Marcus Aurelius
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius
“If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.” – Marcus Aurelius
“Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.” – Marcus Aurelius
“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.” – Marcus Aurelius
Lucius Annaeus Seneca was born in 6BC in Spain. He was popular in the Roman empire, and was a statesman and leader of the people.
“If a man knows not which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” – Seneca
“Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well ordered mind than a man’s ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company.” – Seneca
“Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.” – Seneca
“How does it help…to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?” – Seneca
Epicetus was a Greek Philosopher born in 55 AD. His work was very popular with Christian thinkers of the day. He was born a slave, later freed. He grew up mostly lame.
“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” – Epictetus
“Curb your desire—don’t set your heart on so many things and you will get what you need.” – Epictetus
There are more modern stoic philosophers as well.
Viktor Frankl was a 20th century psychiatrist and neurologist and holocaust survivor.
“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.” – Viktor Frankl
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
– Viktor Frankl
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about being RESOLUTE – making resolutions in the New Year that stick.
Make a Lifelong Resolution
Take some time this week to identify an area of your life that needs to change.
Your relationship with your spouse, your parenting skills, your work habits, launching a new career as a writer, becoming a more positive person – whatever it is that needs to change in your life.
Identify it.
And start meditating on what it means to change it permanently.
You don’t have to be stuck at a job you hate for the rest of your life. You don’t have to walk on eggshells because you are afraid your wife is going to leave you. You don’t have to be afraid about your kids making bad choices. You don’t have to be fat, or tired all of the time. All of those things can be fixed – but all of those things will require you to change. And change doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen just because you say it will.
It starts with aligning your head and your heart with your destination, and it finishes when you fulfill your commitment. If you want to lose weight, you can lose it – but if you don’t commit to changes for the rest of your life you’re going to be in the same place you are now. You can resolve to be a better husband, but if you fall back into the same patterns of behavior, you’ll find yourself in the doghouse again.
It’s not just about changing behavior, it’s about changing your lifestyle.
That starts in your mind, and flows out from there – but change requires commitment, or you will always return to your old self by default.
Don’t be Swayed
Can you be defined as bold?
Can you be defined as steady?
When people see your life, do they see you as waffling, indecisive, and wavering?
In some ways it doesn’t matter what others think of you, and what their judgments are – but other times, your reputation is a good indicator of your character! Surround yourself with men who will challenge you and ask you the hard questions. Ask them if they see you as bold, steady, determined, resolute.
While we’re often talking about behavior changes, it’s important to note that bad behavior, overeating, mouthing off, addictions, etc. are the visible manifestations of an inner issue. You can try to change those things all you want, but these external problems stem from an internal one.
Resolving to change is not enough. You actually have to change. And that starts with changing the way you think.
I’ve found that I often need reminders to stay on track. A piece of jewelry, an item in my pocket, a post it note on my workstation or refridgerator that encourages me to stay the course can really give me a little push in in the right direction when I start to stray, or start to get weary of keeping my commitment.
Positive reinforcement is great, but sometimes you need a little negative reinforcement. Even something as simple as a rubber band, snapped against the wrist when my mind starts to want the thing that I shouldn’t have helps me associate that pleasure-able thing with pain, and while at first, many little red-skinned wrist snaps were uncomfortable, I find myself thinking less and less in the wrong direction.
In order to avoid being swayed from your path, you have to internalize the decision to change. You have to change the way you think. And that is really the hardest part.
What steps can you take to change your thinking?
Change your Mind
Remember those commercials for the NAACP that used to say, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” ?
Those words have often haunted and sung in my head, because they highlight the value of the human mind. But they don’t even come close to describing the power of it.
I know that may sound like metaphysical mumbo-jumbo, but truth sometimes can sound a bit strange. Especially ancient truth.
The word “mindset” breaks down to imply that the mind is fixed like concrete or glue…. Hardened in the way that it thinks. And this perspective really helps us understand how to succeed and how to accomplish what it is we are meant to do. When we SET our mind on improving some area of our life – we will improve. Especially if we reinforce that concrete as often as we can with continual reminders of our destination.
What is a mindset? It’s simply what you think about, and how you think about it. Before we can talk about developing a healthy mindset, we need to talk about how you got your unhealthy mindset, and why it is unhealthy.
From the time you were born, you’ve heard lies about yourself and the world around you. If you hear a lie enough times, you start to believe that it’s true. If you tell yourself that you can’t lose weight – will you lose weight? If you tell yourself that you are worthless, will you ever find self-worth?
The first step in correcting your mindset involves the choice to identify and root out the lies about your situation. Identify the un-truth, call it like it is – and then move on to the next step, which is to identify the truth.
The truth is you CAN do it. The truth is you do have value.The truth is you ARE an addict in need of recovery. The truth is you have treated your wife like crap. The truth is you can change.
Identify the truth, good or bad, and then determine what changes need to be made in your lifestyle as you strive to chase that truth. If the truth is bad, focus on the corrective result that you want to see. “I’m an alcoholic, but I will kick this habit.” “I’m a crappy husband, but I will choose to be a better one.”
Cultivating that mindset means kicking out thoughts, daydreams, and internal dialogue if it goes against the positive direction that you want to go. Thoughts sometimes swirl around and get you off track, and it’s up to you to kick it out. How do you kick it out? It simply starts with telling it to go. Outloud if you have to. “Get out of my head. I am not stupid. I will pass this exam.”
You must also kick out the external voices that are holding you back. If your spouse is berating your attempts to improve, tell her that you need her support. If you are listening to music or watching television or movies that reinforce the bad habits or ideas, toss them out.
Changing your mind is not instant, nor is it simple. It take the discipline to “take captive every thought.” Whenever a thought comes into your head – take the time to evaluate it and file it appropriately. Is it positive, encouraging, true, motivating, brutally honest? Is it weak, passive, negative, destructive, dishonest?
You know which ones are good. Put the good ones in the right place – and kick the bad thoughts out.
Changing your mind also takes education. Read, attend seminars, classes, and groups to enrich and enlarge your mind. If you want to see change, you have to be properly equipped.
Replace Your Addictions with Habits
Probably the most common resolutions are “Quitting Smoking,” “Losing Weight,” or “Getting Healthy.” These resolutions, along with others, like getting sober, quitting drugs, and many others are in response to addictions.
Psychology Today defines addiction this way:
Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.
There are a number of different ways that we deal with addiction: We often trade one addiction for another. That’s why smokers who quit often gain weight…
There are so many facets to treating addiction, and getting to the root of the problem that we can’t get into here. I’m no expert, and even the experts have a variety of opinions on it. If you find yourself in need of more help, consult an expert.
In the meantime though, and especially in dealing with the smaller more manageable addictions – I can offer some advice.
Replace those addictions with good habits.
If you normally reach for a sugar soda to quench your thirst, replace it with ice water!
If you are addicted to caffeine, (by the way – the first three days of that addiction are the hardest!) Replace the need for a boost of energy with a quick burst of exercise or stretching! (My wife sells essential oils – I’ve found that a quick whiff of peppermint oil actually gives me almost the same boost of caffeine!)
Trying to quit smoking? If you are taking the smoke breaks out of your life, you have to replace them with something else that is GOOD for you.
Get together with your brothers-in-arms and talk about the addictions you need to cast off. Ask for advice, ask for accountability. Be honest with them about the struggles, and about the process. It may not be instant – sometimes screwing up is part of the process!
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about the meaning of Christmas.
The REAL meaning of Christmas – is that God loved you so much, that he sent his son to live among you. God himself chose to be a sweaty smelly human – a crying pooping baby – who would do great things, but would also suffer and die as a sacrifice for sin… God himself became sin – to pay for yours.
Luke 2 1-5
About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.
6-7 While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.
An Event for Everyone
8-12 There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”
13-14 At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:
Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.
15-18 As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. “Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.
19-20 Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some of the manliest history about Saint Nicholas.
Santa Claus may be shrouded in myth, but the real Man in Red was quite the manly man. According to history and legend, there are a number of stories that paint “Jolly Old Saint Nick” in a slightly different light than we see on the Christmas Cards.
That Time Santa Claus hit a heretic in the face.
Once, during a religious debate, another man denied the divinity of Christ. That was, according to many sources, just too much for Nicholas.
(via St. Nicholas Center)
Arius, from Egypt, was teaching that Jesus the Son was not equal to God the Father…As Arius vigorously continued, Nicholas became more and more agitated. Finally, he could no longer bear what he believed was essential being attacked. The outraged Nicholas got up, crossed the room, and slapped Arius across the face.
Some legends refer to the strike as a punch, and say that it resulted in a bloody nose, but at the very least, most historians tend to agree that some kind of physical altercation occurred, in which Father Christmas struck a blow for sound doctrine.
While I can’t condone hauling off and smacking someone who disagrees with your theology, I do kind of respect Nicholas a little more knowing that he was passionate about what he believed.
That time he saved three daughters from being sold into prostitution
300AD was a different time. In those days, no respectable man would marry a woman without a monetary gift from her father. If he couldn’t pay for her dowry, she was often sold into slavery, or prostitution.
It was a different time, with different customs, and while it seems barbaric to us today… well.. It was barbaric. Nevermind. I won’t try to excuse it. Apparently, Good Ole’ Saint Nick felt the same way, because he took action against that barbaric practice in at least one instance.
via St. Nicholas Center)
There was a man, once rich, who had fallen on hard times. Now poor, he had three daughters of an age to be married…This poor man’s daughters, without dowries, were therefore destined to be sold into slavery, or worse…Coming in secret by night, [Saint Nicholas] tossed a bag of gold into the house. It sailed in through an open window landing in a stocking left before the fire to dry…The first daughter soon wed.
Rescuing damsels in distress is a pretty manly thing to do.
Ending sex slavery is also a manly thing to do!
Want to help end human trafficking? Here’s how you can be like St. Nick.
That time he solved a grisly murder and did a miracle
Keep in mind that in order to be considered a “Saint” according to Catholic tradition – a person must have performed documented miracles. Regardless of whether you believe in the veracity of miracles – stories like this are interesting. (Personally, I do believe in supernatural miracles. I’m perfectly okay if you think this makes me crazy. I’ve seen too many of them to deny their existence. But that’s another conversation for another day.)
Via St. Nicholas Center)
[Three lost children] came to a lighted butcher’s shop, knocked and said, “We are lost and hungry. May we eat and sleep?” “Oh, yes,” came the reply, “do come in.”
As they enter, the butcher takes a sharp knife, cuts them up, and puts them in a large salting tub. Seven years pass.
A knock comes on the door. Bishop Saint Nicholas appears, saying to the evil butcher, “Open your large salting tub!” The saint puts his hand on the tub and, appealing to God, says, “Rise up, children.” The little children awake and stand up. Their families joyfully welcome them home.
Again – whether or not the story actually happened is irrelevant. It’s still a cool story. And it’s cool to think of Santa Claus as doing ACTUAL good in the world, not just giving kids cheap plastic toys made in China and WAY too much chocolate.
Speaking of chocolate – Santa would probably be pretty pissed off about the chocolate industry today.
That time he told a storm at sea to take chill pill and it listened
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of sailors – most likely because of this story.
(Via St. Nicholas Center)
Nicholas foresaw that a violent storm was coming, although no one else suspected this. After he warned the crew, at once black clouds appeared in the sky and a violent storm arose, churning up the sea. Everyone was afraid and they all begged Nicholas to rescue them. They cried out, “Unless you pray to God to save us, we will be swallowed up by the sea!”
Encouraging the passengers and crew to put their hope in God, the saint sent up fervent prayers to the Lord. At once the waters became calm, and the passengers were filled with joy. A fair wind filled the sails, and the boat sailed quickly and safely to Alexandria in Egypt. For this reason, and because of other miracles brought about by Saint Nicholas at sea, he was eventually named the patron saint of sailors all over the world.
This story is familiar – as something very similar happened to Jesus in the New Testament. As I said before – regardless of your belief in miracles, this is still a cool story.
According the biblical and church history, it’s not unusual for the followers of Jesus to do the same kinds of miracles that Jesus did. Jesus spoke of “all authority” being given to him. He later told his followers that he was giving them “all authority.” While Nicholas didn’t know Jesus, he chose to walk away from a life of luxury to live a life of charity and kindness. He was a privileged kid who decided to follow the path of Jesus…. So it makes sense that the same authority would apply, right?
Nicholas wasn’t some soft fat guy sitting at the mall while a hundred kids made demands. He spoke with authority – so strongly that winds and waves shut the hell up at his request.
Let’s strive for a little of that kind of authority in our lives! Speak boldly to the frightening circumstances in your life, and tell them to shut the hell up!
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some of the manliest history about Saint Nicholas.
Santa Claus may be shrouded in myth, but the real Man in Red was quite the manly man. According to history and legend, there are a number of stories that paint “Jolly Old Saint Nick” in a slightly different light than we see on the Christmas Cards.
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