One mile off the shores of San Francisco, is “The Rock” – Alcatraz Island. Shark infested waters surround the sea-pounded rocky coast of this tiny island, making it an ideal place to keep criminals isolated from the rest of the world.
To attempt an escape would certainly mean death. Armed guards, dangerous waters, not to mention the difficulty of trying to blend into society when your face is on wanted posters in every post office in the country.
But in 1962, three men disappeared from the island. They found a way of escape. They made sleeping dummies of themselves of plaster and paint to fool the guards, they made a raft out of rain coats, and disappeared into the night. The case has been open with the U.S. Marshalls for many years, with very few leads.
These men were criminals, and they found a way to escape their fate.
Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence. No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
Sin can imprison us.
We can get caught in cycles and habits that are destructive, and can hurt our relationship with God.
For a long time, I struggled with porn and masturbation. I know that may sound ridiculous to many of you that I would consider it a sin, and maybe that’s a deeper discusion for another time. The principle, though, remains the same.
I had an addictive, habitual activity that was harming my relationship with my spouse, was harming my relationship with God. We can all identify with that – whether the sin is a bad attitude, or uncontrolled anger, substance abuse, or sexual sin, we have all been caught in our own Alcatraz at some point.
Even for many years, when I was “clean” and not acting out on those impulses, the temptation was still there. It was constant – like a bombardment of pressure to let my thoughts be unrestrained, and my actions be unrestrained.
It’s important to know and understand that being tempted is not sin.
To have a desire to do the wrong thing pop into your head is not a sin. To have an immediate rush of hormones dump into your system when you see a pretty girl is not sin. To feel your blood pressure rise and your fists clench when someone says something hurtful to you is not sin.
Sin is when you let that thought have unchained and unfettered access. Sin is when you allow that lust or that rage to feel at home in your brain.
When we do that, we are cultivating a garden where sin grows – like the mushrooms that grow in my shady compost pile.
Temptation comes for us all in different ways, and often many times a day.
But God’s promise – is that with every temptation, there is a way of escape. There is a way out.
You don’t have to do the thing just because you have been tempted.
That way of escape is going to look different for each of us, and for each temptation.
For my battle with porn and lust, I had to discipline myself to think differently. The way of escape looked like me changing what kind of media I consumed. There were TV shows and movies and commercials I had to stop watching. They may not have been porn, or even that immodest, but if I found myself thinking about the women in the shows a certain way, or constant hearing about or seeing sex or women in bikinis, it was feeding a monster in my brain. That way of escape involved, just like the prisoners on Alcatraz, a lot of preparation. I couldn’t just expect to beat the temptation in the moment, I had to prepare for it in advance, by starving my mind of stimuli. There were many other changes and escape routes that I had to put into place in my life, but those certainly helped.
I have a friend who struggled with losing his temper. His way of escape is often just excusing himself from conversations and going outside for fresh air. It’s almost comical sometimes to see him walk away from a situation. It can be frustrating if you are trying to talk to him, and he has to leave to cool off. But it keeps him from saying things he shouldn’t. That battle may be easier for him in the future. As he builds the discipline of disassociating from his own anger, he’ll have the strength to build his own self-control. We all make wrong decisions, choose less than best, and get caught in bad habits. I’m not judging anyone for that.
Many of us settle into it. We accept it, and try to justify it.
But what if we tried to rise above it? What if we tried to escape it?
What would our life look like if we put in the effort and the energy and the initiative to actually take that way of ESCAPE that God promises us?
Manlihood.com provides personal development for men. Our goal is to help enrich men’s lives and to help them become better men. We believe spirituality is an essential part of that component. We understand that not everyone subscribes to a judeo-christian belief system, but we know that a large part of our audience is encouraged to be better men through the paradigm that we share. Our hope is that all men can see and learn to experience fulfillment through faith in Christ, but we also know that not everyone will. Our secondary hope is that by sharing these Spiritual Sunday posts, that even those who may not agree, would be able to at the very least, understand our mindset, and possibly even find something helpful and applicable to their lives. We’re not banging on our Bible or cramming Jesus down anyone’s throat. We are simply processing these experiences through the lens of faith, and inviting all to look with us.
When you tell me to be silent. When you tell me to hush. When you tell me my words are offensive.
I don’t think you understand Why I have to say it. Why I refuse to hold my tongue. Why these words flow.
I don’t think you understand
There is a fire in my bones. There is truth that must be spoken. And I’m physically incapable of holding it back.
I don’t think you understand
That love is not offensive.
That truth sometimes hurts.
That Love and Truth are the same person.
I don’t think you understand That fire can be refining and not only destructive. That though I am burned, I am not consumed. That this fire can’t be extinguished.
In this episode, Josh Hatcher talks about the COST of doing good.
Every action and decision has consequences. Even making the decision to do the right thing can have a negative impact sometimes. The “greater good” isn’t always a warm and fuzzy happy ending. What do we do in that instance?
More accurately – there will always be someone who doesn’t like you or what you have to say.
Paul wrote a letter to the church in Galatia, which is in what is now known as Turkey. That region had been populated by “Gallic Celts.” Christianity was spreading across the Roman Empire, and even into the fringes.
Paul was issuing a rebuke to the church, who had started to listen to preachers who told a much different story of Jesus, of redemption, and it was causing dissension in the church.
For the record, the spurious information being taught was that in order to be right with God, these barbarian turkish celts were going to be required to follow Jewish customs. They were taught that they couldn’t eat cheeseburgers, bacon, or pork rinds, had to cut the foreskin off their penis, and any number of other rules that were not meant to apply to them.
Paul had enough – Jesus was never meant to be just for Jews. Jesus never told people they had to become Jews. To follow Jesus, no one was required to follow a bunch of laws and customs just to fit in. Anyone could come to Jesus. And a life changing relationship with Jesus is meant for all people, regardless of race or culture.
That’s the context – but the verse that jumps out to me is this:
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Let’s get this straight right here and now.
We can live our lives trying to please people. We can do everything in our power to try to make people like us, or make people happy. We can follow all the rules, dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s, and we’re going to find out a very hard truth.
You will never please all the people.
There will always be someone who will have expectations of you that are not reasonable. There will always be someone who will talk about you. There will always be someone who wants you to look, act, or talk a certain way.
While there is a degree to which we should try to get along with people, and a degree to which we should build a reputation, and love and serve people… the honest truth is – it’s God’s opinion of us that matters, and no one else’s.
Do the right thing because you want to honor God, not because you are worried what someone will think.
Do the right thing because God tells you to, not because man tells you to Do not strive to please men.
Strive to please God.
Manlihood.com provides personal development for men. Our goal is to help enrich men’s lives and to help them become better men. We believe spirituality is an essential part of that component. We understand that not everyone subscribes to a judeo-christian belief system, but we know that a large part of our audience is encouraged to be better men through the paradigm that we share. Our hope is that all men can see and learn to experience fulfillment through faith in Christ, but we also know that not everyone will. Our secondary hope is that by sharing these Spiritual Sunday posts, that even those who may not agree, would be able to at the very least, understand our mindset, and possibly even find something helpful and applicable to their lives. We’re not banging on our Bible or cramming Jesus down anyone’s throat. We are simply processing these experiences through the lens of faith, and inviting all to look with us.
It’s Creative Thursday! Every week we’ll feature a poem, a song, or some other creative expression here at Manlihood.com
We believe to be creative is in the nature of every man, whether it’s art, literature, musif, woodworking, or fish takes around the campfire. This week’s post is a poem by Josh Hatcher entitled, “Behold the Destroyer.” https://youtu.be/eFtM_rOY75c
In this episode, Josh Hatcher tackles the phrase “Man Up!”
It’s become almost taboo to say it, in light of a cultural shift that draws a lot of attention to Toxic Masculinity. Josh talks about that shift, and about the value in encouraging someone to “Man Up.”
How do we (men and women) take back the ground that we’ve surrendered, especially in education, media and politics? Is there a collective voice that can say unashamedly, “Enough is enough!”?
JD Casper released his new song, Living in the Past this week, and Manlihood has an exclusive first look.
We sat down for an interview with JD Casper, and we’re excited to share his new song with you for our Creative Thursday feature!
Living in the Past is like walking into your grandfather’s house after he’s passed on, and as you’re cleaning out the cupboards, you find a coffee can loaded with cash. There’s the blessing of finding a rich treasure, but also the nostalgia of a simpler time, and grandpa’s old wisdom. JD Casper builds on an old tradition of folk and country music with his tender acoustic musical arrangement, but the depth of his lyrics are in the simple truths they communicate.
“Don’t look back in anger, hold on to your memories. Learn from your mistakes and all your apologies. With good help and company, a soul can be set free with a good melody you can make your dreams reality. Hindsight staring through the glass Broken hearts can heal without a cast. They say good times come from living like each day could be your last. Oh what’s the point of living in the past.”
JD Casper, “Living in the Past”
Check out the video for JD Casper’s “Living in the Past”
Manlihood: Your new song, “Living in the Past” has so much depth. There’s a message you want us to hear – tell me about that.
JD Casper: For me, the song serves as a modest reminder to be present everyday. Engage with your loved ones and don’t dwell on the past. You’re not your childhood traumas. You’re not the bad decisions or the bad break ups you’ve went through. Your hardships don’t define you. There’s always hope for a better tomorrow. For all of us.
Manlihood: There’s an earnest and rich earthiness to your music – it could have been recorded yesterday or 100 years ago. What is it about that folk style that drew you in?
JD Casper: As a child, I spent a lot of time with my grandfather. He’s had country radio on in his living room and garage 24/7 since before I was born. I think it was imprinted into my subconscious for better or worse. But I really started to embrace the sound about 10 years ago. I like music that bleeds emotion.
Manlihood:Is music your full time gig? What does that look like for you? Is it hard work?
JD Casper: Music has been my full time gig for about 5 years now. My schedule has been pretty consistent. I play six shows a week. It’s a lot of singing, strumming, and stomping. But I get paid well and get to spend the maximum amount of time with my family. Which is very important to me having a son that’s turning 3 this month.
Manlihood: You’ve been a musician since you were young. Did you ever dream it would look like what it looks like now?
JD Casper: If you had told me, the 12 year old boy from Lewis Run, PA that this was going to be my life at 27, I don’t think I would’ve believed it. I’m living my dream. Truly.
Manlihood: This song dropped this week, where can I buy it?
JD Casper: You can get it everywhere! Stream it on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon music, or download it on iTunes, or the YouTube video. There will be a bigger EP coming soon with 5 or 6 more songs. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Manhood is not automatic. In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about the elements that have to be in place for manhood to thrive, mentorship, modeling, and reinforcing.
In this week’s “Ask a Man” Segment, Josh answers this question from a listener: My wife says she wants a divorce. I don’t want a divorce. What should I do?