Ironmill and Manlihood are rallying a group to help remove rotting garden timbers, and other much needed labor at the garden as a part of their Rise X Up campaign. Lou Costa of Ironmill said that this is an effort to build a sense of pride in the community. “The Project Pride garden was an initiative started by the City of Bradford, and this cleanup is a step that we thought was a great way for us to do our part in the community.”
Costa invites the whole community out to help reclaim the space, which has fallen into disrepair. “A little elbow grease and a fresh coat of paint can make a difference,” said Costa, “We hope this is the initiative that can help to kick start in people a resurrection of pride in their neighborhoods.”
I believe in the power of strength training, fitness, exercise
or whichever your niche’ in the world of workout … to drive and to change your life. There is a discipline involved in training and great reward for those of us who constantly evolve our bodies shape, size and strength. This reward is one that I personally believe very deeply having been a personal trainer, strength coach and mentor to many young athletes for many years.
My journey through this life has run the gambit of emotion from grand elation to dumbass mishap and taken every single turn in between one could conjure up. The anchor through my course of existence has always been my commitment to strength and the positivity surrounding that dedication.
The connection I have to training is actually palpable, almost indescribable when you work for something so hard that was thought impossible a month, a year, a decade ago … and now that same un moveable obstacle bends to your will as you grow in knowledge, strength and power.
It is that feeling that I wish to share with our community. The power to change after failure, to adapt and then to
OVERCOME.
When we drive ourselves to capabilities that others are unable to understand or comprehend, we form a bond amongst us.
Ironmill and Manlihood is a place to share that bond.
The Brother of “Iron”
…where the passion of sharing a wealth of information, experience, media and change is more than just welcomed, it is encouraged. If you read our philosophy and there is a fire sparked inside of you to introduce yourself to that idea of dedication, 100 % percent effort and absolute pride in yourself to not only change your physique but to cause a real shift your thinking … than we have accomplished our initial goal.
We here at Ironmill believe to our core that the commitment and knowledge we help instill in you to succeed to the betterment of your personal fitness goals will extend far past squats, deadlifts and dumbells. We believe that the commitment to the betterment of yourself will translate deeply into a more positive life as well.
I write that last statement with absolute sincerity.
I write that sincerely because that commitment and knowledge has changed many people’s lives around me.
It has brought us into this community together.
It has given us focus.
It has instilled work ethic.
It has forced a paradigm shift in our thinking. It makes the impossible, possible.
It suits us with the armor to overcome anything we are willing to work towards.
It is the passion forged within ourselves and brought together by the common bond of a stronger you.
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about SCARS.
We’ve all got scars. Words that were said to you when you were young… Things you saw that you should never have seen… Lifelong consequences from stupid decisions, whether ours or someone else’s…
Men, make sure that they are SCARS not WOUNDS.
If you keep finding that you are sensitive about certain things, held back by the same unreasonable fears, or that you keep making the same bad decisions repeatedly, or that you have habits you just can’t quit…. chances are good that you have a wound that never healed right. It’s not a scar, it’s a wound or an infection.
Get it cleaned out and get it healed. If that means you need to get some professional help, to talk to a trusted friend about it, or whatever – the only person that can make the decision to get that part of your life healed is you.
A scar shows you’ve been through the process.
An overly sensitive attitude, a destructive habit, a fearful mindset just show that you have a wound you need to work on.
Men, we’ve OD’d on complacency. We’re become comfortable with failure and defeat, and then settled in to our padded graves to watch the world burn.
We don’t have to live like this. Fat. Lonely. Bored. Distracted. Hopeless. Depressed. Broken.
It’s time to RISE UP from the dead. It’s time to RISE UP out of our graves. It’s time to RISE UP and take back the things we know we can and should be.
Join Josh Hatcher (Manlihood) and Lou Costa (Ironmill) on a 12 week journey, rekindling what it means to be a man. What it means to take ownership of your life. What it means to RISE UP.
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher tells us why he doesn’t want you to follow him.
Who do you think you are? How can a fat guy making peanuts tell me how to live my life? Why should I take advice from the guy that doesn’t look or act nearly as manly as I do? That Hatcher guy isn’t manly at all! What gives him the right to say that?
I think about these kinds of questions a lot. Fortunately – none of you mutter them out loud… though I’m sure those questions may occasionally bounce around in your heads.
I’m not here to tell you how to be rich. I’m not here to tell you how to be healthy. I’m not here to tell you how to do anything from a position of superiority.
Many of the men’s groups and authors and people that I follow are touting themselves as a “mastermind” group and they say, “Don’t take advice from anyone who is a failure.” or “Don’t ask a broke person about money.”
I want to make something clear. I am not perfect, nor am I trying to build “followers” – I don’t want to make you guys “disciples” of me.
What I want to do is to encourage you guys to work on your life…. to work on your marriages… to work on your kids… to work on your character… and to build the kind of relationships that help you do that.
“Self-improvement” (I like this term better than self-help) is really what I want us all to look at. No matter where we fall on the scale financially, or where we fall on the scale in physical health, or courage, or relationships – we all ought to be able to look at our lives and evaluate how we can improve them.
I’m a work in progress. I screw stuff up all the time. I’m still looking for what works. If you are hoping to follow a guru who has it all together – I’m going to tell you something – you’re not going to find him.
He may be rich, but he’s a douche.
He may be super fit, but he’s on his fifth marriage and he’s having an affair.
He may be a great husband and father, but he eats too many donuts.
Stop trying to find the perfect coach, the perfect mentor, the perfect leader – and if you need perfection to follow – I’ll point you to Jesus. (ask me what I’m talking about if you want to know more.)
But aside from that – in the here and the now – Here’s where Josh Hatcher fits into the mix.
I’m a good Dad. I’m a good husband. Not a perfect one – but a good one.
I have a good eye for how to do those things well.
I’m also pretty good at making strategy, and planning.
I’m also pretty good at how to relate with friends, how to resolve issues, and how to be a leader in your home, work, and community.
These are the things that I can teach you. And that’s what I’ll invest my time and energy into.
I’m also pretty good at fostering community, getting people to think, and getting people to discuss things.
So I’m hoping that if you have questions, I can help you find the answers by connecting you with others in our “band of merry men.”
That also means, though, gentlemen – for this to work, and to work well – we all have to do our part – to share from the places we excel, so we can help other brothers succeed as well!
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher says you have to deal with your crap, and tells you how he dealt with his.
Deal with your crap. A while back, I had to deal with a sewer problem. Digging out a trench to move the crap so I could get to the pipe. I was covered in crap. I took a shower and got out and while drying off, I still smelled crap. It was gross. And I had to hop back in the shower again.
I went to a funeral for an old friend. He had a lot of pain. A lot of crap.He choose to numb that pain by drinking and drugging until his liver quit. Through his addiction, he pushed his family away and hurt them.
I saw their grief as they choose to forgive him and to say goodbye.
He didn’t deal with his crap.
So… I don’t what kind of crap you guys are dealing with in your life… But make sure you deal with it!
No one likes to deal with crap.
But if you don’t deal with it, it can make you sick and kill you.
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about the problem with “the blame game.”
The Blame Game is a destructive mindset that we all play from time to time. It’s an inneffective way to process any scenario, and we’ve got to level up our understanding, and put things in the proper perspective.
Blame looks for someone to punish Blame doesn’t fix the problem. Blame focuses more on shame than restoration.
Responsibility doesn’t care “Whose Fault?” Responsibility focuses on the fix. Responsibility restores.
Don’t blame, take responsibility. It doesn’t matter whose fault.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
Stop playing the blame game. Replace it with taking responsibility
The buck stops here. You are the only one who can change you. And you are the only one you can change.
As a man you are a leader – that means even more responsibility.
“any team, in any organization, all responsibility for success and failure rests with the leader. The leader must own everything in his or her world. There is no one else to blame. The leader must acknowledge mistakes and admit failures, take ownership of them, and develop a plan to win.”
“Implementing Extreme Ownership requires checking your ego and operating with a high degree of humility. Admitting mistakes, taking ownership, and developing a plan to overcome challenges are integral to any successful team.”
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about what it means to be a gentleman.
What it means to be a gentleman
The word gentleman has more connotations than it does definitions. It is important to clearly define what it means to be a gentleman, and to rid our minds of the mixed up messages we have often attached to the word.
I remember as a boy, well-meaning women teachers would use the word “gentlemen” to try to convince a class full of rowdy boys to sit still and be quiet.
Some boys, enthralled by the compliment of being referred to as “men” compiled. Most boys, offended at being called “gentle” didn’t comply.
I was often in the second category.
The word also conjures a cartoonish picture of a gentlemen of the Victorian era, in suit and bow tie, with a monocle and his hair parted in the middle.
He is not Popeye, Fred Flintstone or Yosemite Sam. He isn’t heroic or strong. He responds to tough circumstances with fear, or at best, really bad boxing form.
To this caricature, being gentle means being week.
To be a gentleman is not about being proper or mannered, or pedigreed or less likely to fight.
To be a gentlemen means to have honor… we give things and people the proper value, and treat them in a way that shows honor to their value.
That means showing courtesy and politeness when it matters.
That means showing respect where it is due.
That means treating people with kindness, and in some cases tenderness.
It also means defending that honor when sometime shows dishonor.
To be a gentleman is a choice to live in a way that shows honor, and return then deserves honor.
Chivalry is not Chauvinism
Maybe it’s because chivalry and chauvinism both involve men and how they view women…. Maybe it’s because they both start with “ch”… But the meaning of chivalry is often mixed with chauvinism.
chiv·al·ry
the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively.
the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
Chau·vin·ism
exaggerated or aggressive patriotism.
excessive or prejudiced loyalty or support for one’s own cause, group, or gender.
I don’t know if anyone even realizes they have connected the two words. I think it happened unconsciously somewhere around the time of the cultural revolution of the 60s.
I’ll be clear… that revolution for some very good things for women. There were many ridiculous ideas about women and their worth. Truly “male chauvinistic” ideas.
To be a gentleman is to value things rightly. To honor and respect women.
That sounds like chivalry to me.
Offering to hold the door for a woman didn’t mean we think she is weak. It means we want to show her honor.
It is polite to hold the door open for people, right?
Gentlemen show manners not just because of social norms or old fashioned rules… rather, that politeness comes out of a drive to honor people, to value people.
I can’t say that it will be ready to separate the cultural associations between chauvinism and chivalry, but we should strive to model that we are men of honor.
Moderated Ferocity
Gentle should never mean weak.
Erase that image from your head, and make sure to erase it from the minds of those around you.
I’ll never forget wrestling with my father when I was a boy and even a young man. My dad had some military training, some martial arts training, and years of brawling and fighting behind him. He was stronger than any man I knew.
He definitely showed that strength while we rolled around in the living room floor. He could have crushed my head, snapped a bone, or really seriously hurt me. But he didn’t. He was gentle.
Being gentle is not being weak. It is moderating and controlling strength.
The Allegheny River flowed through our backyard. We were twenty miles from the source, so some would have called it a creek. A very deep swimming hole right on our backyard used to draw young people from town who wanted to cool off in the brown water.
Many of those young people were very disrespectful to my dad’s property, and to my dad himself. He would hear kids cussing or fighting, or catch kids littering or even driving or drugging, and would walk down the river and set them straight. I watched boys and girls day things to my dad that should have been greeted with a smack to the face. But he always kept his cool. He would very firmly ask them to leave. If his eyes got fiery, those kids would scatter. Once in awhile, a young man would need to be physically removed. Dad had the strength and knowledge to cause serious harm. He never did.
That’s gentleness. That’s a gentleman. In control of his strength.
Courtesy and Kindness Go a long way
As men, we long to be known for our strength, or ruggedness. If we are not particularly strong, we may have shifted that to a desire to be known for our intellect or creativity. Either way, what each of us want, is supremacy. We want to be the best. We want to be the smartest. In fact, we often lie to ourselves very subtly, to tell ourselves that we are the best and most important person in the room. Even those who may take up the mantle to fight for the downtrodden seem to share this character trait. You see it from the Twitter feed of “social justice warriors” and even the old men swapping fish stories at the corner store over coffee. It’s human nature to put ourselves at the center of our own world.
A gentlemen shows a great that butts against this. Courtesy. Kindness.
To put someone else’s needs ahead of our own clashes with our own inner beast. And it often inspires the same response in others!
Let me challenge you directly, men. There are others who are smarter and stronger. And even those who are weaker and not as smart that need you to defer to them sometimes. They need you to step up and show kindness, politeness.
There are people that just need a smile, a laugh, a friend.
They might need you to offer a helping hand, or even make a sacrifice to help meet a bigger need.
I believe showing kindness goes against human nature, which is about self. Kindness though is built in is too… it’s built in because we are made in the image of God.
Let us never forget the kindness others have shown us, and let us live indebted to pay it forward in acts of love and service
Of Courtship and Flowerpicking
TRIGGER WARNING: I’m about to talk about old-fashioned ideas about relationships and sexuality. Don’t listen if you can’t handle the fact that I might hold ideas that you think are outdated or prudish. Better yet, listen anyway and give it some thought. The worst that can happen is you might be exposed to someone else’s viewpoint. Most likely, you’ll see that I’m a reasonable person.
Somewhere in our 50 Shades of Tinder and snapchat soaked generation of “thirsty” bros, we’ve completely abandoned some old school ideas that I think really matters.
Yes. I’m old fashioned. I’m okay with that. If you think differently than I do – I am not judging you, I’m not offended by you, and I won’t disrespect you.
I think sexuality should be reserved for marriage.
I think sexuality should be gentle, not degrading.
I think that dating shouldn’t be exclusive, and should have strings attached.
I think courtship, or “going steady” should be done carefully, and with the goal of marriage in mind.
I have a lot more old fashioned ideas about this. But I think this is enough to give you my framework.
When it comes to courtship and dating (and yes, there is a distinction between the two) there’s something a man must do. HIs toughness, wildness and strength is not TAMED by her – but rather, he is RESTRAINED for her.
He treats her gently, picks flowers for her, braids her hair, and as such, she sees in him the true beauty of his affection for her – his RESTRAINT.
If a man cares for a woman, treating her gently does not neuter him, does not tame him, does not make him any less tough – no – it’s a chance to prove his love by showing restraint.
I think that if he jumps the gun, and enters into a sexual relationship before the proper time (in my opinion, after marriage) then he demonstrates not restraint, but rather shows her his lack of self-control.
That same restraint is important in the bedroom after marriage as well. He reserves his sexuality only for her. He also continues to treat her gently.
Our porn-saturated culture has normalized the degrading of women during sex. I think that a true gentleman does not descend to calling a woman names, or inflicting pain during sex. That isn’t love, and shouldn’t be portrayed as such.
No matter the stage of your relationship – to be a gentleman, you must exercise self-control!
Remember, men, gentle does not mean weak. To be a gentleman means to be a man in control of himself.