“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other. It consists in deeds not words.” _ Mahatma Gandhi
Valor is a gift. Those having it never know for sure if they have it till the test comes. And those having it in one test never know for sure if they will have it when the next test comes. ~Carl Sandburg
“Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory.” _ George S. Patton Jr.
“To educate a person in the mind but not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” _ Theodore Roosevelt
“Never fear quarrels, but seek hazardous adventures.” _ Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers
I’ve been very fortunate to have a good dad, who raised me well.
Not everyone has that luxury. Not everyone has a good example, and so they often find themselves scratching their heads wondering how to be a better man, without a good father figure to use as a template. Here’s my advice for those guys.
Last week we talked about living in community with other men – make sure that part of that involves inviting younger men that you can mentor. Men that need an example. I’ve found that often – the healing is in the helping – and the learning is in the teaching.
Sometimes, just being there for someone else, having someone count on you, is the missing ingredient to becoming a man yourself.
Being a mentor doesn’t involve deliberately saying, “Hey, let me mentor you!” It just means you invite someone into your life to be a friend, and make sure you model a good example to the best of your ability, and you answer questions and offer advice when it’s appropriate.
I have a lot of young men tell me, “Man, I just don’t have any friends my own age!” And they utter it with an disgust and a longing for community. I explain to them, Listen – as you become a man, you realize that your friends are often five to ten years old, and five to ten years younger. Make it a point to learn from the older ones, and teach the younger ones!
That being said – no relationship is ever only one way. Sometimes you’ll learn from the younger ones, and the older ones will learn from you.
“You’re gonna have to serve somebody. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.” – Bob Dylan
I’ve been very fortunate to have a good dad, who raised me well.
Not everyone has that luxury. Not everyone has a good example, and so they often find themselves scratching their heads wondering how to be a better man, without a good father figure to use as a template. Here’s my advice for those guys.
Our American John Wayne way of life doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for a posse…. we ride like lone cowboys out on the plains. “I can do it myself.” “I am an island.” “I need no one.”
The truth is – we are not meant to live life alone. We’re meant to live in community. And men, if you want to be a stronger better man, you learn how to do that in relationships with other men.
Have a poker night, join a hunting club, or a bowling league, a writer’s group, or a just get together occassionally with the guys to watch an action flick and grill meat.
Your growth will be directly proportionate to the people that you surround yourself with. So surround yourself with some good quality men who will call you out on your bullcrap, and who will build you up for doing good. Guys who will tease you to keep you humble, but give the shirt off their backs when you need them. Strive to be that same guy.
I’ve been very fortunate to have a good dad, who raised me well.
Not everyone has that luxury. Not everyone has a good example, and so they often find themselves scratching their heads wondering how to be a better man, without a good father figure to use as a template. Here’s my advice for those guys.
Last week we talked about mentorship – but mentorship doesn’t always have to involve another person and relationships. There’s a lot that you can learn from simply reading.
Find non-fiction books about the areas of your life that need to improve, and read!
Too broke to buy them? Quit making excuses. Used books on Amazon or Amazon kindle books are cheap. Library books are free!
Read a biography or autobiography of a man you admire – Abe Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Bear Grylls, Von Dutch. Whoever it is that inspires you – read about them, read their words. Learn. Grow.
Here’s some books that I’ve read lately that I highly recommend.