In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about avoiding the butthurt. How can we man-the-heck-up and face our circumstances without getting our feelings hurt?
Resilience is when a man can bounce back after something hurts, rather than to stay down.
Karma comes back to those who do wrong.
Including you. Is this trouble your own fault?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Learning to differentiate whether something SHOULD offend you or not will be one of the most valuable skills you acquire in life.
I tell people frequently that this isn’t a Christian blog. I’m a Christian though – and I find deep meaning in the teachings of Jesus. I never want anyone to think I’m forcing religion on them, but I do want people to think about the truths that are in the Bible – because no matter what you believe about it – there really is great truth in those pages.
One of these truths involves plucking out eyeballs.
Matthew 18: 7Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.
The truth here is this… if we are committed to be better men – there are things we must stop doing. Mindsets we must change, behaviors we must modify.
Some of those things are easy to stop- others take extreme action. If you want to stop a behaviour, you need to do whatever it takes to stop it.
Most people that want to quit drinking, for example, aren’t willing to pour all the booze in the house down the drain, aren’t willing to stop hanging out in social situations with drinking, and aren’t willing to get checked in and get professional help. So they often don’t stop drinking.
Most people that want to stop looking at porn aren’t willing to change the way they use their computers, to install accountability software, to talk to their wife about it, or to sell their smartphone and get a flip phone.
Most people who need to lose weight aren’t willing to stop eating pizza everyday, to put in countless hours of exercise, and to make drastic lifestyle changes.
If we want to defeat our bad behavior – we have to take extreme and drastic changes… the “plucking of the eyeballs” or the “cutting off of the hand.”
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some dark, creepy, and gross things. There’s light, even in the darkness!
Testicular Fortitude
Testicles are gross. When you really think about how they work, they’re awesome, and they are gross. All you have to do is imagine Anthony Bourdain as he travels around the world, and inevitably, someone will serve him a dish of testicles from some native species, and he always says, “It tastes like balls. They always taste the same.”
We often describe someone with GUTS or GRIT as having “intestinal fortitude”-
I like to joke that someone with BALLS has “testicular fortitude.”
Let’s explore that. First of all, I’ve known women with more testicular fortitude than you can imagine – so I don’t mean to identify courage, strength, and honor solely with masculine specific parts, but I want to emphasize that there should be a correlation to having ACTUAL testicles and having BALLS.
I always thought that my brother had the most testicular fortitude of anyone that I knew. The kid was fearless. I watched him surf down a hill of crumbling shale on a big chunk of flagstone. It flipped over and took a chunk out of his hand. He bled and cried a bit, but it was worth it to have that kind of adventure. Another time he got in a bicycle accident that ended up with him getting hit in the testicles. The doctor told him not to ride his bike for awhile. That night, after icing down his sore gonads, he climbed to the top of the swingset and started walking it like a tightrope.
That was his behavior as a kid – he does show a little more responsibility as an adult, but he certainly hasn’t suffered from any “shrinkage” of testicular fortitude.
Questions to ask the modern man
Why is it that we settle for lives of comfort and safety?
Why do we NOT say or do the things that should be said or done?
Why are we content to watch adventures on television, or to play adventures on playstations instead of having the real thing?
Should we be okay with expecting other people to protect us, and not preparing to protect ourselves?
Why do we minimize risk and then complain about the little return that we receive?
We are men in need of testicular fortitude.
Are you NOT a man of courage? Do you feel you DON’T have the balls you need? It starts by making a goal for yourself, and then doing it. Courage is a muscle – and you have to exercise it.
Start by picking something that you didn’t think you could do – and then just do it.
A few weeks ago – I walked 15 miles in one day…. something I never thought I could do!
Maybe it’s an adventure sport, or just an adventure!
Maybe it’s a fitness goal – or asking a girl on a date.
Just start building that courage by taking small steps until those steps get bigger and bigger and build confidence.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some dark, creepy, and gross things. There’s light, even in the darkness!
What Flows in your veins
Blood has been thought of as sacred since the first moment someone nicked their finger and saw the dark red fluid flow out of it.
It carries life – and has inspired mythology, religion, folklore, and storytellers to view it as a mystical and powerful force.
Your heart pumps blood through your veins – and it moves all through your body.
Let’s use this metaphor to ask a couple of personal development questions,men.
We often call our emotional center our “heart.” And if the physical heart pumps blood through your veins – what is the emotional force that the figurative heart pumps through your veins?
PASSION.
So for the sake of analogy – think of PASSION as BLOOD.
In every man, there is a passion that drive him. Even the tired and weak man has that passion pumping through him – though he may have a weak pulse, or low blood pressure.
But the best men are those that have harnessed and trained their body to work with their flowing passion to get things accomplished.
What are you passionate about? What drives you? What passion flows in your veins?
Take some time to identify the things you are passionate about. Then find a way to embrace and strengthen and train yourself – like an athlete – a finely tuned machine to use them to the best of your ability.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast – a podcast for men – Josh Hatcher shares some quotes from Theodore Roosevelt, perhaps the manliest U.S. President of all time.
Manly Quotes from Theodore Roosevelt
https://youtu.be/_frwOyRgBkM
“A man’s usefulness depends upon his living up to his ideals insofar as he can.”
“All daring and courage, all iron endurance of misfortune-make for a finer, nobler type of manhood.”
“Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die and none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life.”
“A soft, easy life is not worth living, if it impairs the fibre of brain and heart and muscle. We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage… For us is the life of action, of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness, striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.”
“Aggressive fighting for the right is the noblest sport the world affords.”
“There are no words that can tell the hidden spirit of the wilderness, that can reveal its mystery, its melancholy and its charm.”
“I want to see you game, boys, I want to see you brave and manly, and I also want to see you gentle and tender.”
“Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground.”
“Courage, hard work, self-mastery, and intelligent effort are all essential to successful life.”
“Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike.”
“It is no use to preach to children if you do not act decently yourself.”
“A good many of you are probably acquainted with the old proverb, ‘Speak softly and carry a big stick — you will go far.’ If a man continually blusters, if he lacks civility, a big stick will not save him from trouble, and neither will speaking softly avail, if back of the softness there does not lie strength, power.”
“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
“A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.”
“If we lose the virile, manly qualities, and sink into a nation of mere hucksters, putting gain over national honor, and subordinating everything to mere ease of life, then we shall indeed reach a condition worse than that of the ancient civilizations in the years of their decay.”
“The worst lesson that can be taught a man is to rely upon others and to whine over his sufferings.”
“We can best get justice by doing justice.”
. “In the last analysis a healthy state can exist only when the men and women who make it up lead clean, vigorous, healthy lives.”
“We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage.”
“We need intellect, and there is no reason why we should not have it together with character; but if we must choose between the two we choose character without a moment’s hesitation.”
“Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one.”
“The joy of life is won in its deepest and truest sense only by those who have not shirked life’s burdens.”
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
———– Get REIGNITE: A MAN’S FIELD GUIDE TO TAKING BACK HIS LIFE
Josh Hatcher from Manlihood.com talks about Nobility on today’s episode of the Manlihood ManCast. The Manlihood ManCast is a podcast for men.
Nobility is a choice
Nobility used to refer to an upper class – often blood related to royalty, or wealthy landowners. Often, their nobility was in rank and class, and not in virtue.
Today, nobility refers to character more than rank or status.
You can be Jack W. Dirt from the East Side of the Wankbottom Trailerpark in Fartblossom Kansas – but if you’ve got good character, you’re a noble.
It’s a choice you make. Folks with good character are known for it. It precedes them like a trumpet fanfare.
———– Get REIGNITE: A MAN’S FIELD GUIDE TO TAKING BACK HIS LIFE
There’s a strange connection between men and their cars – and this connection is too strong to ignore! But what’s the reason for this occurrence and how did it become so relevant? Back in the day, people considered cars to be a symbol of their status in society and an extension of their personal image. Today, cars are much more than that, and it’s no surprise that lots of men look at them as another member of their family. So, why do men love their cars so much, and what’s behind this obsession?
Feeling like a real man
This might sound like the most general statement in the world, but most guys don’t feel like they’re manly enough unless they’re driving an awesome new car. This has, of course, nothing to do with the way they actually look like, but more with their own impression of themselves, but still. Lots of them feel that women will perceive them as more manly if they’re driving a cool car, which is why they spend tons of money on models that are supposed to attract women. Owning a car makes them feel like a real man, and that’s something you can’t put a price on!
Feeling like they’ve made it in life
No matter what you think about it, being able to afford a car is a sign of success. The price of your car, the model, the type, the size, and everything else is less significant – if you’re able to buy a car, you’re doing something good in your life. This is another reason why men love possessing a new car or at least an expensive one, and they feel like their vehicle is speaking in their stead. It’s telling the world how successful these men are and how much they’ve accomplished in their lives, and that’s why some men don’t mind spending every dollar they have on a brand new vehicle.
Feeling like you can do anything
This is something we all know, regardless of our age and sex – owning a great car makes you feel amazing! The sense of price is something you can’t deny, but the feeling of accomplishment is also important. Owning a car shows that you’re able to do whatever you want to do and invest your money into something that makes sense in the long run. Lots of car owners consider their vehicles to be an investment, so finding a way to quickly sell your car might be a great idea on more levels than one. This will help you secure your financial situation in the future and you’ll get a great price, so you’ll feel amazing and be proud of your abilities to handle your finances!
Feeling like a kid again
Most men spent their childhood playing with toy cars and imagining what it will look like when they grow up and start driving real cars. Well, once that happens, the chances are they’ll still feel like children. It’s all about being able to express your emotions and be free to act in a certain way. Some of them customize their vehicles on their own and express their creativity that way. Others love putting the pedal to the metal and driving as fast as possible. If you act this way as well – don’t worry! It’s all normal and millions of men around the world are doing the same things you are. You’ll love feeling like a child again, and your car is the only possession that can make you feel that way even though you’re a completely grown-up person.
Whether you’re feeling proud that you’re owning a car or think of it as an investment, you can’t deny the fact that you love your vehicle. That’s why you invest so much time spicing it up and making it look unique, so don’t be afraid to continue doing that in the future as well – your car will simply love all the attention you’re giving it!
Peter Minkoff is a lifestyle writer at Bond magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.
This can be related to last week’s episode about sexual abuse – or even about other kinds of abuse – but it’s not just that.
All of us have a past. Our own mistakes, our own flaws, or hard things we’ve had to endure.
It’s hard for us to look back there.
Men are fixers. We want to focus on what we can change. It doesn’t help to look at things we can’t change.
I know that if I look at my own past, I’ve got a lot of mistakes that I’ve made that I regret. A lot of people I’ve hurt, stupid things I’ve said or did…
Sometimes, when I try to fall asleep at night, all of those things come back to haunt me. I have an auditory memory. So I can replay conversations I had in my head from ten years ago. And I hear all the stupid things I said, and I feel like a jerk.
No. I don’t want to talk about the past. I don’t want to talk about what I did – or what others did. I can’t change it. I can’t fix it.
I want to focus on today. I want to focus on the future. I can change those. I can influence those. I can fix those.
We can’t change the past – but if we just refuse to talk about it – we’re going to make the same mistakes.
Our failures, and our wounds from the past have a great sway on the decisions we make. Like a weight on a chain behind us. We take it with us – all the while trying to pretend it didn’t happen.
You’ve got to deal with your past.
You’ve got to make amends, be honest, get to the root of why we think and react the way we do if we intend to make a better future for ourselves.
———– Get REIGNITE: A MAN’S FIELD GUIDE TO TAKING BACK HIS LIFE
In this installment of a five part series titled “Things Men Don’t Want to Talk About” for the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher of Manlihood.com talks about Domestic Violence.
There are two kinds of domestic violence I’d like to address. Neither of them get talked about much.
Men abusing women and/or children.
This is unacceptable. If you’re caught in a cycle of this, you need to get help. Not talking about it is making you a monster. Because that’s who abuses women and children – monsters. You’re not a man, you’re a beast, or a little boy with beer muscles. Get help.
Men abused by women.
There’s got to be a tremendous amount of shame involved with this. Despite the fact that our culture has completely upended gender roles, there’s still a prevailing mindset, that a man is strong and that he is stronger than she is.
We also teach boys that it’s always wrong to hit a woman. So a man is actually trained to be susceptible to abuse because he’s trained not to fight back.
If you’re being abused, get out. Get safe. Don’t be a victim.
You don’t HAVE to talk about it with anybody you don’t want to talk about it with. But you do have to talk to someone to make sure it stops happening.
———– Get REIGNITE: A MAN’S FIELD GUIDE TO TAKING BACK HIS LIFE
Whether you’re a morning person or not, you can’t deny the fact that morning is one of the best times of the day! And if you’re feeling fresh, well-rested, and ready to welcome the day ahead of you, even better. But, in order to feel that way, you need to sleep at least seven hours every single night and have a great routine that will help you make the most of your morning. If you’re looking for such a routine yourself, here are a few tips that might help you maximize your morning hours.
Wake up on time
Even though sleeping in and waking up at noon sounds like the best idea in the world, this is actually not the ideal scenario. Different people have different needs when it comes to sleep – it all depends on their age, among other things – and not all of us prefer spending ten hours a night in bed. That’s why finding the right time to wake up is the first step in your perfect morning routine.
Some men love waking up at 6 AM, while others prefer getting out of bed three hours later. Whichever alternative you opt for, though, you need to stick to your wake up time instead of introducing too many changes too often.
Don’t check your phone
This is a common mistake people all over the world are making these days. Just a couple of decades ago, we didn’t have the technology we have today, which is why people didn’t have a smartphone next to their bed. However, today’s generations are addicted to their phones, which is why so many men check their phone immediately after waking up.
Still, just because so many guys out there are acting this way doesn’t mean you have to do that as well. On the contrary, you should remember that checking your phone is one of the worst things you can do in the morning, and this is definitely something that shouldn’t be a part of your morning routine. Instead, you should try stretching, doing yoga, or even going to the bathroom.
Take care of your body
Speaking of going to the bathroom, this is a crucial part of your morning routine. This is the perfect moment to take a shower and take care of your body – from your hair to your skin, every inch of your body deserves constant care if you want to look amazing every day of the week.
Therefore, start looking for the right products that could help you do that as soon as possible. From a great aftershave to a reliable organic dandruff shampoo that will make your hair look better than ever – these simple things are everywhere around us, and using them every single morning is simply a must if you want to look and feel wonderful.
Hit the gym
It doesn’t matter if you want to lose some weight or just wish to get some muscles, joining a gym and going there regularly is one of the best ways to do so. This is also an amazing way to start your morning and make sure you’re in for a productive day.
Working out in the morning comes with a number of benefits, including boosting your activity level, burning more fat, and lowering your blood pressure, so include this activity into your morning routine as well. Of course, you can also opt for other forms of physical activity – cycling, jogging, hiking, or yoga, for instance – in case you’re not a fan of gyms, and the results are pretty much the same.
Once you’ve completed all these things, you’re ready to have an amazing breakfast and finally start your day. Trust us, after such a morning routine, you’ll feel energized and ready to conquer the world!
Peter Minkoff is a lifestyle writer at Bond magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.
