general manliness

February 26 2018

MMC 41- Man Crush Monday – The Last of the Barenuckles

Episode 41- Man Crush Monday – The Last of the Barenuckles

Keep in mind – not all of the heroes we recognize are perfect. If you look hard enough – you’ll find a reason to disqualify anybody from admiration. We propose a better plan, though – look for the good first. You can learn a good lesson from anyone if you are willing.

Growing up as an Irish Immigrant at the turn of the last century usually meant you’d be tough – and prone to fighting. Young John grew up on the streets of South Boston – but his parents had hoped he’d be a Catholic Priest – not known for their fisticuffs.

John dropped out of Boston College to try his hand at baseball. Eventually – bareknuckle boxing was his sport of choice. Despite the sport’s battle for legitimacy and eventual loss to a more sensible form of gloved boxing. (which John also excelled at.)
You might recognize John – his likeness has become a popular “tough guy” meme.

For being a hard as nails man with grit – for being skilled at his sport – today’s Man Crush Monday is John Sullivan

If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 21 2018

MMC38: What BOYS Do – Part 2: Fight

Episode 38: What BOYS Do – Part 2: Fight

Teddy Roosevelt said, “Don’t hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft.”
As we continue to look at the things that BOYS do – that should get put on the shelf when they become men – one of them is fighting.

Certainly – there is a time and a place for that glorious moment that a bully or a tyrant receive a blow to the nose. I firmly believe that when people say, “Violence is never the answer” they forget that there are things worth fighting for – and there are people who need to be corrected with physical force.

But we’re not talking about fighting for a greater purpose. We’re talking about the schoolyard scrapping, and drunken brawls, and incessant need to win every argument – whether by force or sheer ego.

Many times people fight for the sake of proving their strength. Real men do not need such victories to define their worth.

If I’m minding my own business, and a man physically assaults me, I’m going to defend myself, and I’m going to do what it takes to win. But fighting and arguing and winning should never be what drives me, or motivates me.

A man should be secure enough in his self and in his own strength that he doesn’t need to pick fights and push his way to the top.

When I was a boy – I had to fight almost every day. I was bullied and pushed around. There were times when my fights were to protect myself, and times when my fights were to prove myself. I wish that I could have understood that I didn’t need to prove myself with my fists… or for that matter, with my arguments.

The truth is – you can be right, and you can be better than everyone else in the room, without it mattering whether or not everyone knows it.

Boys fight to prove their worth. Men know their worth, and only fight to protect and defend.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

February 20 2018

MMC 37: What BOYS Do – Part 1: Whine

Episode 37: What BOYS Do – Part 1: Whine
Remember that 90’s RnB Group Boys II Men? Yeah. They were great. That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about though. What we’re talking about is common behaviors that should have died off when a boy became a man.

The first one of those behaviors? Whining

Obviously – men do this. It is a behavior that didn’t just “die” with the onset of manhood – but it should.

I don’t think that identifying something that is wrong and needs to be repaired is the same thing as whining. It’s okay to identify a need, talk about solutions, and then implement solutions.

Now that we’ve established that- let’s talk about whining.

Boys who don’t get their way complain about it.

Men learn to deal with it, and find solutions to problems.

Life isn’t fair. It’s true, and you still have to deal with it. Whining about it rarely levels the playing field, but learning to rise above it is the ultimate reward.

Harvey Mackay

Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve.

Robert Burns

The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.

Francis Jeffrey

If you want to behave like a man – you won’t whine. Complaining changes nothing but other’s attitudes about you.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 19 2018

MMC 36: Man Crush Monday – Before the Bullet

Today’s ManCrushMonday is well known for meeting his untimely demise from a bullet. It’s a notorious death. We’ve all heard about it. In fact – the last few years leading up his death are the years we are all familiar with.

Before that – he was raised as the grandchild of four irish immigrants – immigrants who seized the American dream, and their family did well for themselves. Well enough, anyway, that Jack grew up in boarding school, as his father spent long stretches of time away from the family on business. Young Jack blew up toilets with cherry bombs, and led a gang of trouble makers called “The Muckers”

That troublemaking though was offset by health problems – one doctor thought it may have been leukemia – but another diagnosed him with collitis – a condition known to be very painful and debilitating for men. Those health problems, including a bad back, made it difficult for Jack to finish his education, and to join the Navy – his dad had to pull a few strings to get him there – and the young man went on to serve with distinction during WWII. Those distinctions made him an American hero – and he quickly grew in his influence.

But who was this man, now regarded as a hero? Who was this man who shot for the moon, and did so much for his country?
For his devotion to his country, persistence through pain – and for leaving a lasting legacy – we salute John Fitzgerald Kennedy – J.F.K.

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February 16 2018

MMC 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Women typically want to be heard and understood. So when she is telling you something – listen. And try to understand. Don’t assume that her emotion is directed at you, or even if is – that it means she doesn’t love you. Just listen, and do your best to understand what she is saying.
Women also need security. They need to know you aren’t going to leave them for a younger model, that you are going to work hard to provide, that you won’t let a rapist break into the house at night. Find ways to communicate that you will provide security.

Every woman is different and unique, and she has different and unique needs. Part of making a romance work is studying each other. So learn about her, how she receives love, and then give her that love.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

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Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

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Marriage - Masculinity - Manhood, Manlihood

February 14 2018

MMC 33 – Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

As we approach Valentine’s Day – let’s look at how we can prevent a Valentine’s Day Massacre.
How can we avoid the carnage of a bad romance? Sorry Lady Gaga, a bad romance is NOT a good thing…

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

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Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/mmc-33-valentines-day-massacre-how-not-to-screw-up-your-romance-part-2-manlihood-mancast

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

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Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 13 2018

MMC 32 – Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 1

Episode 32: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 1

As we embrace the Holiday of St. Valentine’s Day, we are surrounded with pink hearts and cupid’s arrows, and chocolate – but the truth is – romance isn’t always so sweet and frilly. Real love takes hard work, and we’ve seen many times when the romance around us looks more like the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre than it does a Hallmark Movie.

Don’t screw it up! There are so many pitfalls that can murder your love story. Let’s start with the biggest one. DON’T CHEAT.

You would think that would be simple right? Then why do 22% of men, and 14 percent of women cheat on their significant other? Why do ⅓ of all marriages have an incident of infidelity?

Cheating starts long before the act. They start in your mind, when you start to think of someone else, and when you start to justify infidelity.

Want to prevent it? Start with correcting those errant thoughts when they pop in your head. Start by putting safeguards in place that prevent you from being in a position where anything COULD happen.
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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!
Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 5 2018

MMC 26 – Whose Land Is It? Man Crush Monday

Episode 26 – Man Crush Monday – Whose Land is it?

Woodrow loved his mother. What little boy didn’t? But things weren’t always rosy at home. During his youth, his sister was burned to death, after her clothes caught fire during a family argument.
But his mother? He was just 14 when his mom was taken off to be institutionalized. Woodrow didn’t know that her dementia was caused by Hutingdon’s Disease, and that it would eventually cripple and kill her. Dad was off in Texas working to repay his debts, leaving Woodrow and his siblings to beg for food and work odd jobs just to get by.

When he befriended a black shoe-shine boy with a harmonica, he realized that George could teach him a lesson or two about how to get by on the streets, and so he bought his own harmonica, and sang for his supper. His dad would have had an issue with his choice of friends, though, I’m sure. In fact, a year before young Woodrow was born, his father, a member of the KKK had been involved with the lynching of a black man.

Woodrow dropped out of school, and opted for homeschool, spending his time busking for cash on the streets, and reading at the local library.

But this was Oklahoma, and the Dust Bowl was looming. As Woodrow entered adulthood, his home was engulfed in drought and poverty, and he was swept up in the Oklahoma migration to California – Grapes of Wrath style.

In the face of such poverty, it’s no wonder he was drawn to the ideas of communism. Which promises equality for all men, even if historically, it doesn’t always deliver.

Eventually Woodrow’s musical skills would land him a job playing hillbilly music on the radio. But his communist sympathies would eventually get him fired.

That didn’t stop him though, from loving America, even if his views were different than most. He travelled the country, playing folk songs, and eventually settled in with the artistic community in New York City. Where he penned a patriotic song that would echo for years to come – resonating with friends on both sides of the aisle.
“This Land is Your Land. This Land is My Land” is still sung these days, and it’s both a sentimental picture of America’s beauty, and a stinging statement about poverty.

For telling stories, writing songs, and surviving in the face of some of our nation’s hardest times – today’s Man Crush Monday is Woodrow – Woody Guthrie.

February 2 2018

MMC 25: Watch your mouth! – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-25-watch-your-mouth-z-1618-448-pm

Episode 25: Watch your mouth!

Men, The words you speak have power – and they affect what happens in your life!

Passive people don’t bother controlling their mouths. They let their mouths control THEM. These are the kinds of words that come out of the mouth of passive men.

Gossip- Talking about someone else’s business – whether it is true or not is gossip. Bottom line is – if it’s not your business – then you should not be talking about it!
Anger- There is a time and a place for anger. It’s a valid emotion, and there are proper ways to express it. But more often than not – we should just shut up, rather than snap at people we love.
Criticism- We hate it when people tell us how to do our job – but we’re often full of criticism toward others. We ride our kids about their grades, their appearance, their chores. We gripe about our wives, we complain about our jobs and or bosses, and our employees. Their work and effort is never enough. When you die – your family will remember the words you have spoken. Do you want them to remember all the times you told them how to stack the plates? Or do you want them to remember how good you made them feel when they did something right?

The truth is we need to replace these words with the kind of words that make a positive difference! Let’s offer words that resolve conflicts, that encourage people, and build them up. Make it a point to think before you speak!

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here:
http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-watch-your-mouth/

February 1 2018

MMC 24: What you think – you ARE – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-24-what-you-think-you-are-s-1618-442-pm

Episode 24:

What you think – you ARE

Your mind is a powerful thing. I’m not talking about Uri Gellar spoon bending stuff. I’m talking about the fact that what you think about affects your actions and your behaviors. What we need is mind-control – more accurately – self-control.

If you think about something, you’ll be drawn to it. That hot girl at work? Fantasize about her, and you’ll be drawn to her. That cigarette? That donut? Yeah.

Thoughts pop into our head, and then we chose to reject them, or entertain them.

“Sit down and stay awhile! Have a cup of coffee!”

I guess what we need to do is treat some of our thoughts like door to door salesmen. If someone comes to your door and asks if he can come inside and throw some dirt on your floor to demonstrate his vaccuum cleaner – you would probably tell him “No thanks! See you later!”

And yet – if a friend stopped by with a meatloaf and wanted to visit – we’d say “Come on in!”

We need to stop being PASSIVE about what thoughts can take residence in our head.

Here’s a good checklist.

Is it true?
Is it honorable?
Is it just?
Is it pure?
Is it caring?
Is it commendable?
Is it good?
Is it worth sharing?

A PASSIVE mind let’s itself be raped and abused by thoughts that don’t belong there.

Do your thoughts say harsh and cruel things about yourself? Do they say harsh and cruel things about others? Are they full of anger and spite? Are they full of illicit sex? Are they selfish?

If so – chances are good that whatever you LET in your head will eventually come OUT in your life.

Don’t let those kinds of thoughts settle in. Kick them out. Replace them with GOOD thoughts.

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-what-you-think-you-are/