Men and Women are different in many aspects of life, and money is no exception. From the way one acquires funds to the spending habits to keeping savings – differences abound. If you think that may not be the case, here are some numbers for you:
Around 31% of American men are thinking about dipping into their retirement funds when the need arises, as opposed to 23% of women.
Only 14% of men would consider downsizing their lifestyle in tough times, opposed to 25% of women.
Men also tend to carry more debt with higher mortgages than women. They also have a higher chance of being late with the mortgage payment.
From these few snippets, it seems that men are prone to risky behavior with their funds. In today’s uncertain economic climate and with the pandemic threatening a variety of jobs, it may be wise to handle money with care. Here are some tips on how to handle your finances in a meaningful way:
Change your mindset
It is not about having enough for food and clothes. You need to change the way you think about money and what it means to you. Be sure to know who you are and what you want to accomplish with money. Focus on positive aspects of life – there are always some. Also, try to visualize the best version of yourself and act upon it.
Create and maintain an emergency fund
If you have not done so already, plan and start creating your emergency fund. All it takes are small steps. Put aside a couple of bucks each day, and it will yield a thousand or more after a year. Also, do not dip into it unless it’s an emergency. Set it up so that it’s not easy to get money from it; that way, you’ll avoid unnecessary spending.
Stop comparing yourself to others
It is nice when we can show our friends how successful we are – with a brand-new car or a larger house. What’s not so great is overspending so much that your signs of success make your budget suffer. Practice living within your means. Don’t let showing off lead you into financial troubles – it’s not worth it.
Do your research
Before you embark on a journey to invest in something important, like a flat or car, do research. Explore all the possibilities and write down the pros and cons of every possible way you can finance your idea. If you are thinking about getting a new vehicle, look for several deals on car loans. Do not take the first one you find – compare them all and see which gives the most value for the buck.
Pay with cash
Today’s economy seems as if it all turned into virtual earnings and spending. Even so, you should still rely on good, hard cash. It gives you a sense of control, unlike a plastic card that seems to have unlimited money. You also get in physical contact with spending and it makes you value your hard-earned cash more.
Track your spending
It is not only the big expenses that influence your budget. The little things often add up. Start tracking your spending, even to the tiniest amount. The idea is to have a clear vision of your expenses and where your money goes. It also helps you get in touch with spending habits that are bad for your budget.
Focus on passive income
If you have a place for rent, you can boost your finances with it. Have an idea for a book or similar artistic product? It also becomes a source of money. It does not have to be a physical thing. Online courses and subscription services can be a great source of passive income, especially with people spending more time indoors.
Peter Minkoff is a lifestyle writer at Bond magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about avoiding the butthurt. How can we man-the-heck-up and face our circumstances without getting our feelings hurt?
Resilience is when a man can bounce back after something hurts, rather than to stay down.
Karma comes back to those who do wrong.
Including you. Is this trouble your own fault?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Learning to differentiate whether something SHOULD offend you or not will be one of the most valuable skills you acquire in life.
In the movie Apocalypto, directed by Mel Gibson, a young Mayan man is set to be slaughtered.
The Mayans believed that a bloody human sacrifice was required of their gods to bring favor on their land. After all – while the brutality was in practice, their kingdom thrived! In their brutal and twisted minds – it made sense!
Of course we know that killing innocents as an act of sacrifice to the gods is not a good thing.
But our culture is built on sacrifice – and I contend that it’s a cornerstone of manlihood for a man to be willing to lay down his life.
When a man swears an oath to his country, as a soldier, a police officer, a firefighter, etc – he pledges to serve the greater good at a great personal cost. In order for him to serve, his life may be required of him. They all know this – and yet they agree to serve.
We may not all be heroes, signing or name in blood with an oath to serve and protect – but we should all strive to live our lives in a way that reflect some of that courage.
Sometimes a commitment to sacrifice doesn’t mean death – sometimes it means going without to provide for our children. Sometimes it means doing the right thing, when it costs us dearly to do so. Sometimes it means standing up to defend against wrongdoing around us.
Are you willing to give your life, or part of your life to the service of others?
Are you willing to put yourself second, to put your needs behind the needs of others? Are you willing to charge in to danger to help another in need?
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some dark, creepy, and gross things. There’s light, even in the darkness!
Testicular Fortitude
Testicles are gross. When you really think about how they work, they’re awesome, and they are gross. All you have to do is imagine Anthony Bourdain as he travels around the world, and inevitably, someone will serve him a dish of testicles from some native species, and he always says, “It tastes like balls. They always taste the same.”
We often describe someone with GUTS or GRIT as having “intestinal fortitude”-
I like to joke that someone with BALLS has “testicular fortitude.”
Let’s explore that. First of all, I’ve known women with more testicular fortitude than you can imagine – so I don’t mean to identify courage, strength, and honor solely with masculine specific parts, but I want to emphasize that there should be a correlation to having ACTUAL testicles and having BALLS.
I always thought that my brother had the most testicular fortitude of anyone that I knew. The kid was fearless. I watched him surf down a hill of crumbling shale on a big chunk of flagstone. It flipped over and took a chunk out of his hand. He bled and cried a bit, but it was worth it to have that kind of adventure. Another time he got in a bicycle accident that ended up with him getting hit in the testicles. The doctor told him not to ride his bike for awhile. That night, after icing down his sore gonads, he climbed to the top of the swingset and started walking it like a tightrope.
That was his behavior as a kid – he does show a little more responsibility as an adult, but he certainly hasn’t suffered from any “shrinkage” of testicular fortitude.
Questions to ask the modern man
Why is it that we settle for lives of comfort and safety?
Why do we NOT say or do the things that should be said or done?
Why are we content to watch adventures on television, or to play adventures on playstations instead of having the real thing?
Should we be okay with expecting other people to protect us, and not preparing to protect ourselves?
Why do we minimize risk and then complain about the little return that we receive?
We are men in need of testicular fortitude.
Are you NOT a man of courage? Do you feel you DON’T have the balls you need? It starts by making a goal for yourself, and then doing it. Courage is a muscle – and you have to exercise it.
Start by picking something that you didn’t think you could do – and then just do it.
A few weeks ago – I walked 15 miles in one day…. something I never thought I could do!
Maybe it’s an adventure sport, or just an adventure!
Maybe it’s a fitness goal – or asking a girl on a date.
Just start building that courage by taking small steps until those steps get bigger and bigger and build confidence.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some dark, creepy, and gross things. There’s light, even in the darkness!
What Flows in your veins
Blood has been thought of as sacred since the first moment someone nicked their finger and saw the dark red fluid flow out of it.
It carries life – and has inspired mythology, religion, folklore, and storytellers to view it as a mystical and powerful force.
Your heart pumps blood through your veins – and it moves all through your body.
Let’s use this metaphor to ask a couple of personal development questions,men.
We often call our emotional center our “heart.” And if the physical heart pumps blood through your veins – what is the emotional force that the figurative heart pumps through your veins?
PASSION.
So for the sake of analogy – think of PASSION as BLOOD.
In every man, there is a passion that drive him. Even the tired and weak man has that passion pumping through him – though he may have a weak pulse, or low blood pressure.
But the best men are those that have harnessed and trained their body to work with their flowing passion to get things accomplished.
What are you passionate about? What drives you? What passion flows in your veins?
Take some time to identify the things you are passionate about. Then find a way to embrace and strengthen and train yourself – like an athlete – a finely tuned machine to use them to the best of your ability.
The one and ultimate motivation for everything I do in my life, every hardship I encounter, every boulder that needs to be pushed up a cliff, is the endless, unrelenting need to prove my own abilities to myself.
Mindset alone isn’t enough to motivate men.
Motivation is a muddy and unreliable thing. It can push you out of a state of mental and physical inertia, but it can also serve as an addiction to self-improvement messages that keeps you from actually doing the self-improvement that needs to be done. Many people find motivation is places where there is little true value to be found.
Instagram posts about “grinding” and “hustling” can get you pumped at that moment, maybe even push you to get something done in your life. But that motivation is short-lived and ultimately meaningless. Because it does not draw from your life and your life experiences.
Other people find motivation in achieving a certain goal.
They see a mountaintop they wish to reach, and then work on their discipline and mental and physical abilities. They keep pushing until they reach it. This is a standard type of motivation for men. We evolved to be seekers, always looking for a new challenge to overcome, a barrier to destroy, a dragon to kill and a princess to save. Yet, this kind of motivation, while being natural and productive, is also very short-lived.
Even when there is an infinite amount of mountaintops, not all of them will be as beautiful and desirable to a man. While a man might give all of himself to reach one of those mountaintops, he might make it– the other mountaintop might not be as motivating to reach. Thus, this kind of motivation inconsistent and lacking in many ways.
There is yet, a third kind of motivation for a man.
Some of us are motivated by proving other people wrong.
A sentiment and mindset well-encompassed in the phrase: “Let them mock, let them laugh, let them doubt and disbelieve and let them watch as you prove them wrong.” This is a strong message and a strong and masculine mindset to adopt. Many men have accomplished great things with this mindset motivating them to give all of themselves to the fight.
The thing I dislike about this mindset as a source for motivation is that, even though this is an internal source of motivation, it is still focused on the opinions and perceptions of other people.
I am a firm believer that, to a good man, opinions of people who are not his family or his tribe, should not matter at all. This is a mindset mostly adopted by people who were bullied or harassed in their younger years, having faced oppression from people who had physical or metaphorical power over them. This is why this mindset brings such a powerful motivating force to a man’s work, because it stems from his experiences and overcoming not a challenge in front of him but a challenge inside of him.
Prove it to yourself
The motivation that I personally use is similar to the previous one I’ve discussed. The motivational mindset of “Proving it to yourself.” This is also rooted in a man’s personal experience of life. But, instead of a focus on the beliefs and opinions of other people, it’s focused on striving to achieve a state of confidence and certainty in one’s own masculine ability to accomplish what one said he will accomplish.
Doing what you say you will do is a strong form of masculine integrity. To have a mindset of proving to yourself that you indeed have that integrity and that ability to do the things that need to be done well and without procrastination will lead to the development of your sense of duty to your own life and confidence and self-esteem in your interactions with other.
Veljko Uskovic I am a 21 year old software engineer and blogger, speaking my truth to the world. Growing up in a society which I recognize as decadent and flawed, with many men failing to fulfil their purpose and being led by false doctrines.
I found myself in need of true wisdom and guidance in regard to being a good man. My blog represents my thoughts and lessons I’ve learned on my path to living a life of positive struggle and growth as a man, I had no one to teach me the things I am teaching myself and I hope that I can help young men as myself to find their way in a world of lies. Escaping depression and meaninglessness through meaningful work and through the development of a healthy and masculine mindset. Check out my blog: The Wolf with the Keyboard
There’s a strange connection between men and their cars – and this connection is too strong to ignore! But what’s the reason for this occurrence and how did it become so relevant? Back in the day, people considered cars to be a symbol of their status in society and an extension of their personal image. Today, cars are much more than that, and it’s no surprise that lots of men look at them as another member of their family. So, why do men love their cars so much, and what’s behind this obsession?
Feeling like a real man
This might sound like the most general statement in the world, but most guys don’t feel like they’re manly enough unless they’re driving an awesome new car. This has, of course, nothing to do with the way they actually look like, but more with their own impression of themselves, but still. Lots of them feel that women will perceive them as more manly if they’re driving a cool car, which is why they spend tons of money on models that are supposed to attract women. Owning a car makes them feel like a real man, and that’s something you can’t put a price on!
Feeling like they’ve made it in life
No matter what you think about it, being able to afford a car is a sign of success. The price of your car, the model, the type, the size, and everything else is less significant – if you’re able to buy a car, you’re doing something good in your life. This is another reason why men love possessing a new car or at least an expensive one, and they feel like their vehicle is speaking in their stead. It’s telling the world how successful these men are and how much they’ve accomplished in their lives, and that’s why some men don’t mind spending every dollar they have on a brand new vehicle.
Feeling like you can do anything
This is something we all know, regardless of our age and sex – owning a great car makes you feel amazing! The sense of price is something you can’t deny, but the feeling of accomplishment is also important. Owning a car shows that you’re able to do whatever you want to do and invest your money into something that makes sense in the long run. Lots of car owners consider their vehicles to be an investment, so finding a way to quickly sell your car might be a great idea on more levels than one. This will help you secure your financial situation in the future and you’ll get a great price, so you’ll feel amazing and be proud of your abilities to handle your finances!
Feeling like a kid again
Most men spent their childhood playing with toy cars and imagining what it will look like when they grow up and start driving real cars. Well, once that happens, the chances are they’ll still feel like children. It’s all about being able to express your emotions and be free to act in a certain way. Some of them customize their vehicles on their own and express their creativity that way. Others love putting the pedal to the metal and driving as fast as possible. If you act this way as well – don’t worry! It’s all normal and millions of men around the world are doing the same things you are. You’ll love feeling like a child again, and your car is the only possession that can make you feel that way even though you’re a completely grown-up person.
Whether you’re feeling proud that you’re owning a car or think of it as an investment, you can’t deny the fact that you love your vehicle. That’s why you invest so much time spicing it up and making it look unique, so don’t be afraid to continue doing that in the future as well – your car will simply love all the attention you’re giving it!
Peter Minkoff is a lifestyle writer at Bond magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.
Whether you’re a morning person or not, you can’t deny the fact that morning is one of the best times of the day! And if you’re feeling fresh, well-rested, and ready to welcome the day ahead of you, even better. But, in order to feel that way, you need to sleep at least seven hours every single night and have a great routine that will help you make the most of your morning. If you’re looking for such a routine yourself, here are a few tips that might help you maximize your morning hours.
Wake up on time
Even though sleeping in and waking up at noon sounds like the best idea in the world, this is actually not the ideal scenario. Different people have different needs when it comes to sleep – it all depends on their age, among other things – and not all of us prefer spending ten hours a night in bed. That’s why finding the right time to wake up is the first step in your perfect morning routine.
Some men love waking up at 6 AM, while others prefer getting out of bed three hours later. Whichever alternative you opt for, though, you need to stick to your wake up time instead of introducing too many changes too often.
Don’t check your phone
This is a common mistake people all over the world are making these days. Just a couple of decades ago, we didn’t have the technology we have today, which is why people didn’t have a smartphone next to their bed. However, today’s generations are addicted to their phones, which is why so many men check their phone immediately after waking up.
Still, just because so many guys out there are acting this way doesn’t mean you have to do that as well. On the contrary, you should remember that checking your phone is one of the worst things you can do in the morning, and this is definitely something that shouldn’t be a part of your morning routine. Instead, you should try stretching, doing yoga, or even going to the bathroom.
Take care of your body
Speaking of going to the bathroom, this is a crucial part of your morning routine. This is the perfect moment to take a shower and take care of your body – from your hair to your skin, every inch of your body deserves constant care if you want to look amazing every day of the week.
Therefore, start looking for the right products that could help you do that as soon as possible. From a great aftershave to a reliable organic dandruff shampoo that will make your hair look better than ever – these simple things are everywhere around us, and using them every single morning is simply a must if you want to look and feel wonderful.
Hit the gym
It doesn’t matter if you want to lose some weight or just wish to get some muscles, joining a gym and going there regularly is one of the best ways to do so. This is also an amazing way to start your morning and make sure you’re in for a productive day.
Working out in the morning comes with a number of benefits, including boosting your activity level, burning more fat, and lowering your blood pressure, so include this activity into your morning routine as well. Of course, you can also opt for other forms of physical activity – cycling, jogging, hiking, or yoga, for instance – in case you’re not a fan of gyms, and the results are pretty much the same.
Once you’ve completed all these things, you’re ready to have an amazing breakfast and finally start your day. Trust us, after such a morning routine, you’ll feel energized and ready to conquer the world!
Peter Minkoff is a lifestyle writer at Bond magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.
It’s almost uncommon when a man decides he wants to be a better husband. I called you today has almost eliminated any kind of self-improvement when it comes to relationships. It gets hard, so people just give up.
But we’re going to look at that question.
How can I be a better husband
Become a better listener
Men, we tend to listen just enough to hear the problem and try to fix it. Women often don’t want you to fix the problem but rather just to listen. That’s frustrating for us.
Women, on the other hand, need to talk about their feelings. And that’s okay.
But to be a better husband we need to be a better listener. There’s a degree of empathy that we have to cultivate. We need to just sit in the moment with her while she works through what she’s feeling. It’s not about feeling sorry for her. It’s about acknowledging that she has feelings.
I think this video illustrates the point very well.
Control your reactions
When we react to every stimulus and every circumstance, it creates a tension between a husband and a wife. If you want to be a better husband, learn to suppress the immediate emotional response to the stimulus that your wife is putting out.
Men, we like to think that we are not emotional, or that we are more stoic than women. We are often just as emotional and we have very emotional reactions. Our emotions usually manifest as anger and frustration.
The first step in controlling your emotions is recognizing when they happen. Make a conscious effort today to pay attention to the things that get you riled up. You have to choose to deliberately react the opposite way.
It’s going to feel weird at first. She may even pick up on the emotion behind your control and try turn it into a fight.
Take a breath and react with love rather than anger.
Reevaluate your priorities.
For many years the husband was the sole provider in his home. It is still the case in some homes.
Regardless of who brings home the bacon, here are some vestigial remnants of the days when the husband was the hunter-gatherer. Most of those remnants are thought patterns in our own minds.
We feel that we have to give our families more. We feel that they deserve a better life or better social standing or more activities or more material things.
I do believe that it’s important for us to work, and it’s important for us to be a part of providing for our family. But we have to make sure that we don’t prioritize the material things over our presence in our home.
Our families are of a higher priority than the things that we possess. Our marriage is of a higher priority than any other relationships. If you want to be a better husband make sure that you value that relationship above anything else.
Correct her gently.
Wives don’t like to be told they’re wrong.
To be fair nobody likes to be told they’re wrong. A good husband can gently correct and lead his wife when she’s making a mistake. And this goes both ways. She also can gently correct you when you’re making a mistake.
If you are overly critical, He will tear her down. If you are overly passive, she will never know that what she’s done has wronged you. There is a fine line of balance right in the middle where we are gentle, humble, and kind but also truthful.
Guard against temptation.
A friend once told me he had a deal with his wife. In their relationship, there were no barriers for him to go to strip clubs or watch porn. She said, “I don’t care where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner.”
Some of us might think we would appreciate that kind of “freedom.” But I know that that can be a dangerous path to tread.
Your marriage vows are sacred. If you use other women to satisfy or inflame your sexual desires, you may very well find yourself giving into the temptation of having an affair.
Adultery isn’t just an old-fashioned sin. It’s the number one cause of divorce. Some people have come to the place where they don’t even care about the wrongness of it anymore and have an open relationship, where they sleep with whoever they want.
I know I sound old-fashioned but I just don’t see that as a good thing.
If you want to preserve the sanctity of your sexual relationship, you need to train your mind to shut out external sources of sexual desire.
We’re men. We’re always going to notice beauty. But to notice and mentally acknowledge beauty has to be tempered with mental discipline. Learn to tell your mind to stop before it goes down the rabbit trail of imagination.
That may mean that you have to take away the bait. For many years, there were television shows that I couldn’t watch, because I found myself focused on the woman in the bikini or the low-cut top. It wasn’t a trashy show, but I felt attracted to the actress, and seeing her would stir up temptation. I did not have the mental discipline to watch that show, because my mind wanted more. I went back and watched the show years later, and it didn’t bother me the same as it did when I had less control.
Your situations may be different, but I do believe that the principle is the same. Don’t go to the donut shop if you can’t say no to a donut.
Get used to being wrong
A wise couple once told my wife and I that to really do marriage well, you have to ask yourself the question:
Do I want to be married, or do I want to be right?
The truth in that question is everything. There are times when you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are right about something. She disagrees. Before it becomes an argument – you really have to contextualize the issue. Is it worth a fight? Can you be humble enough to let the situation play out?
Don’t say I told you so
In a follow up to the scenario I just posed – you know you’re right – and she disagrees, but you decide it’s not worth the fight. The situation comes full circle, and it is proven you were right all along…
Do you gloat? Do you find a way to get your glory? Do you say, “I told you so, honey!” You may have the upper hand, but taking glory in it is only going to push her down and build you up. That’s the opposite of how this should work.
Cosmic alignment
What does astronomy (or astrology) have to do with your marriage? Absolutely Nothing.
But I use those words for a reason. Many husbands have set their whole universe to revolve around their wife. I know I told you that she needs to be your highest priority. But if she is the sun to your planets, the center of your universe – you will cause your marriage to suffer.
If your marriage is a galaxy, you are two planets locked in orbit together around a greater gravitational force. Not a moon or a planet revolving around each other.
You each have to have friends and connections and interests apart from each other. She cannot fulfill every one of your needs. You cannot fulfill every one of hers. You need brotherhood. She needs sisterhood. You need hobbies. She needs hobbies. You need things you can do together, but you also need to have somewhere to go or something to do occasionally to remind yourselves that you are not the only two souls in the universe.
Ask her
Have the conversation with your wife. What do you need from me? How can I be a better husband?
Each of you take a piece of paper. Tell her you are going to write down a number from 1 to 10 on performance as a husband. Ask her to do the same. Then trade papers.
Don’t be hurt or offended if hers is less than you need it to be. Ask her for ONE thing you can work on over the next couple weeks to level up a notch. Let her know that you are committed to improvement, but you can’t fix everything overnight – so ONE thing is a good place to start.
Don’t ask her to do the same job of rating herself as a wife. If she offers, accept it. Chances are she will. But don’t make this about criticizing her – make this about improving yourself.
If she’s willing to talk about what you need to improve, be humble, teachable, and don’t make excuses. If you think she’s wrong – carefully listen to what she’s saying, and commit to take it seriously and to work on it.
Get help
Nobody likes marriage counseling. It’s like going to the dentist. But if you find that you can’t work through the issues you’re facing without fighting- it may be time to call a pastor, a counselor, a marriage therapist, and to sit down and talk through the issues together. There’s no shame in it. But don’t go in with the goal of proving her wrong. Go in with the goal of fixing yourself.
If you are asking questions about how to be a better husband, this is good. Many men do not even care to explore the questions. They just assume it will happen. They just assume they are good. They follow their feelings rather than their principles and integrity. And then they react emotionally when things come crashing down. Don’t be like those men. Dig into what it means to be a good husband.
I’ll contend that to be a better husband, you should start with trying to be a better man independently of her. You commit to self-improvement whether she does or not. You commit to be the best version of yourself. Most of the time – she’ll follow suit. She wants to see you improve – and she is designed to follow your lead. If you aren’t improving – she can’t. Don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself. Even if she says, “Dude, this is over. I’m done.” — being a better man is the right answer! You’ll never survive marriage or divorce if you don’t commit to bettering yourself.
