In this episode, Josh Hatcher talks about the COST of doing good.
Every action and decision has consequences. Even making the decision to do the right thing can have a negative impact sometimes. The “greater good” isn’t always a warm and fuzzy happy ending. What do we do in that instance?
More accurately – there will always be someone who doesn’t like you or what you have to say.
Paul wrote a letter to the church in Galatia, which is in what is now known as Turkey. That region had been populated by “Gallic Celts.” Christianity was spreading across the Roman Empire, and even into the fringes.
Paul was issuing a rebuke to the church, who had started to listen to preachers who told a much different story of Jesus, of redemption, and it was causing dissension in the church.
For the record, the spurious information being taught was that in order to be right with God, these barbarian turkish celts were going to be required to follow Jewish customs. They were taught that they couldn’t eat cheeseburgers, bacon, or pork rinds, had to cut the foreskin off their penis, and any number of other rules that were not meant to apply to them.
Paul had enough – Jesus was never meant to be just for Jews. Jesus never told people they had to become Jews. To follow Jesus, no one was required to follow a bunch of laws and customs just to fit in. Anyone could come to Jesus. And a life changing relationship with Jesus is meant for all people, regardless of race or culture.
That’s the context – but the verse that jumps out to me is this:
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Let’s get this straight right here and now.
We can live our lives trying to please people. We can do everything in our power to try to make people like us, or make people happy. We can follow all the rules, dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s, and we’re going to find out a very hard truth.
You will never please all the people.
There will always be someone who will have expectations of you that are not reasonable. There will always be someone who will talk about you. There will always be someone who wants you to look, act, or talk a certain way.
While there is a degree to which we should try to get along with people, and a degree to which we should build a reputation, and love and serve people… the honest truth is – it’s God’s opinion of us that matters, and no one else’s.
Do the right thing because you want to honor God, not because you are worried what someone will think.
Do the right thing because God tells you to, not because man tells you to Do not strive to please men.
Strive to please God.
Manlihood.com provides personal development for men. Our goal is to help enrich men’s lives and to help them become better men. We believe spirituality is an essential part of that component. We understand that not everyone subscribes to a judeo-christian belief system, but we know that a large part of our audience is encouraged to be better men through the paradigm that we share. Our hope is that all men can see and learn to experience fulfillment through faith in Christ, but we also know that not everyone will. Our secondary hope is that by sharing these Spiritual Sunday posts, that even those who may not agree, would be able to at the very least, understand our mindset, and possibly even find something helpful and applicable to their lives. We’re not banging on our Bible or cramming Jesus down anyone’s throat. We are simply processing these experiences through the lens of faith, and inviting all to look with us.
It’s Creative Thursday! Every week we’ll feature a poem, a song, or some other creative expression here at Manlihood.com
We believe to be creative is in the nature of every man, whether it’s art, literature, musif, woodworking, or fish takes around the campfire. This week’s post is a poem by Josh Hatcher entitled, “Behold the Destroyer.” https://youtu.be/eFtM_rOY75c
In this episode, Josh Hatcher tackles the phrase “Man Up!”
It’s become almost taboo to say it, in light of a cultural shift that draws a lot of attention to Toxic Masculinity. Josh talks about that shift, and about the value in encouraging someone to “Man Up.”
How do we (men and women) take back the ground that we’ve surrendered, especially in education, media and politics? Is there a collective voice that can say unashamedly, “Enough is enough!”?
We’ve all heard this instagram horsecrap before. Somebody gets all fired up and hope and optimism around the New Year – maybe they read a book from a motivational guru, or they are just convinced that it’s time to make a change.
We often look at it with skepticism, because we’ve seen that same person do this EVERY January. By February they’re pounding fiery cheetos and acting like a douche all over again.
While we may not be a fan of fair-weather life transformation, the start of something new, a new year, a new decade, certainly seems like a convenient time to evaluate our lives. How do we measure up?
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started a diet on January 2, only to find myself caving in by the end of the month. I can’t begin to count the number of years I’ve vowed to turn over a new leaf, and found myself digging through the trash to find the old leaf.
We know that God is a God of second chances.
All through scripture, and history, we see stories of God giving man a chance to be redeemed, and start fresh.
The entire picture of Jesus, being born, dying, and coming back to life is what Christianity is all about. Our first ritual, baptism, is a picture of that – to die to our old ways, to be buried under the water, and to come back to life.
New year or not, getting a clean slate and a fresh start is at the very core of what it means to walk with God.
Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you. 2 Corinthians 5:16-20 MSG
What does a fresh start look like for you? Are there things you need to stop doing? Do you need to ask God for forgiveness? Do you need to make a clean break with behaviors or attitudes? Are there things you must start to do that you have not been doing?
I know that for everything we are not, and everything we break and screw up, God can bring forgiveness, wholeness, and freedom. We’ve got to come to Him humble and ask Him, and then as He changes the inside, we work together with Him on the outside.
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched. God’s my island hideaway, keeps danger far from the shore,throws garlands of hosannas around my neck. Let me give you some good advice; I’m looking you in the eye and giving it to you straight: “Don’t be ornery like a horse or mule that needs bit and bridle to stay on track.” Psalm 32: 5-9 MSG
As we look at our fresh start, my encouragement to you is to make a plan. Be diligent with that plan. Don’t just try to wing it.
The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. Proverbs 21:5
If there are changes you want to make, take the time to work through a plan of action. If you want to change the way you behave, you must change the way you feel, and to change the way you feel, you have to change the way you think. That takes effort, intentionality, and discipline.
Don’t stay where you are, if there’s more out there for you. Don’t be content with a less than best version of yourself, when God has even better for you. Don’t just expect God to be your fairy godmother and bibbidy bobbity boop you into your new life, either. There’s a grand and glorious work to do – and He wants to do it with you.
Manlihood.com provides personal development for men. Our goal is to help enrich men’s lives and to help them become better men. We believe spirituality is an essential part of that component. We understand that not everyone subscribes to a judeo-christian belief system, but we know that a large part of our audience is encouraged to be better men through the paradigm that we share. Our hope is that all men can see and learn to experience fulfillment through faith in Christ, but we also know that not everyone will. Our secondary hope is that by sharing these Spiritual Sunday posts, that even those who may not agree, would be able to at the very least, understand our mindset, and possibly even find something helpful and applicable to their lives. We’re not banging on our Bible or cramming Jesus down anyone’s throat. We are simply processing these experiences through the lens of faith, and inviting all to look with us.
Sometimes – you just need to get alone. Our personal growth and development and progress aren’t always about doing, and about the hustle. This is hard for men to realize sometimes – that what we really need – is sometimes a little time alone in the woods.
Most of the guys that are reading Manlihood blog posts and watching our videos are good men. Most of you are not sexually assaulting people, or parading around with your chests puffed out and shoving your masculinity in people’s faces. No – most of you men have already achieved a level of personal development.
Most of you are good men.
There might be a few brigands and rogues who stumble their way on the content we put out. GOOD! Sirs, if you’re a trouble maker – I hope you can learn from us!
If you ARE a good man though – we can always strive to be better. We can grow and learn and become better husbands, fathers, and leaders.
Any one of us, though, can get sucked into the wrong path. We can make one small bad decision that snowballs – and then we’re screwed. Let’s strive for better. Let’s stay on track to be the best we can be.
When I started Manlihood, I started it as much for myself as much as for everyone else. I don’t just want to help create resources for personal development for men, I want to personally develop myself as well.
A while back, my buddy Brian called me out. He told me that I was committing slow suicide.
What?
Yeah. Not quick and traumatic. Not fast and painless.
But by continuing to engage in a destructive lifestyle of eating crap food and not taking care of myself, I was committing slow suicide.
Sweat, blood, seawater, sand. Caked all over my face. I could HEAR smoke. I could SMELL the cries of my wounded brothers. On mission. Storm the beach. Take the high ground. Push them back. Kill the Nazi’s.
D-Day was a battle like no other.
Lou’s grandfather landed on that beach.
“This operation is not being planned with any alternatives. This operation is planned as a victory, and that’s the way it’s going to be. We’re going down there, and we’re throwing everything we have into it, and we’re going to make it a success.”
General Dwight D Eisenhower
I don’t have such a direct connection to the real event, as far as I know, but I do know that this date, which will live in infamy, is also the anniversary of my own internal battle.
Life was a whirlwind of chaos. Missed deadlines, jobs not panning out. Spinning the Roulette Wheel of “What Bill Doesn’t Get Paid This Month.” And the fog and stench of my own personal war was ever present.
I didn’t believe in ADHD.
It was just something the pharmaceutical companies made up. I didn’t dare take any medication. I didn’t want to inhibit my creativity. It wasn’t a chemical imbalance anyway.
And there I say, watching yet another ball get dropped. Yet another of my “soldiers” fall on the shore.
I was buried under responsibilities I couldn’t even wrap my head around.
My friend had similar struggles. He sent me a text. “Dude. You up? Can I call you?” He had lost a lot of weight, I knew this was one of “those calls.” I’d had a thousand of them from well-meaning friends who tried to help.
He told me about his ketogenic diet. (I have literally tried it before)
He told me about the ADHD medication he was taking. (I was skeptical)
He told me, “Man. Do this with me. You can do it. I’ll help you.”
Okay, Dennis. I’m game. I’m tired of this. Where do I start?
He told me to go look at myself in the mirror. Do you see that ugly guy? Tell him you hate him. That you don’t want to see him again. Then make a fist, look at that fist. When you see that ugly guy, you punch him down.
I went to the mirror. Even at 430 pounds, I said, “Dang. I’m sexy!”
Dennis, it’s not working.
His internal fuel is different from mine, for sure.
Self-hatred might motivate some, but I’m too cocky for that.
We will accept nothing less than full victory! Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.
Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Supreme Allied Commander, 6 June 1944.
A few days later, June 6, 2018, I sat outside in the warm June air. And started thinking about D-Day.
D-Day wasn’t just about the taking of that beach at Normandy.
V-E Day was the day of victory over Europe. It was 11 months later. V-J Day was the day of victory over Japan. It was 14 months later.
D-Day was called that because it was the DECISION DAY – the day of decisive victory. Because we won that battle, victory for the rest of the war was assured.
There was a lot more war after that. A lot more carnage and cost and casualty.
But at THAT battle at Omaha Beach, our boots on the ground, our transports dumping men off in droves to overwhelm on stronghold, we changed the course of the war.
“God almighty, in a few short hours we will be in battle with the enemy. We do not join battle afraid. We do not ask favors or indulgence but ask that, if You will, use us as Your instrument for the right and an aid in returning peace to the world.”
Lt Col Robert L Wolverton, commanding officer of 3rd battalion, 506th PIR.
As I thought about that battle, and what it meant, I decided, then and there, that it was my D-Day. I was going to make the choice to never go back. I would not be the same.This day would decide the course of the rest of my life.
I talked to my doctor. I decided to give some medication a shot.
I decided to give a ketogenic diet a shot.
I took a new job.I decided that I’ll be a rockstar at it and I WILL excel.
I changed my attitude about everything. I will not say “I can’t” anymore.
I determined to lead my family the way they need to be led. I determined to love my wife the way she needs to be loved. I determined to lead myself the way I need to be led. I determined to stop accepting a poverty mindset. I determined to be who I’m meant to be. It was the day of decisive victory.
And one at a time – my own V-Days keep arriving.
Last D-Day, I set my first goal of losing 100 pounds by June 6. And I’m there. I’ve done it. If that goal has taught me anything – it’s that setting my intention, and saying that I can and will do something is powerful.
I wish I could say that all my problems were fixed, but I can say that they are getting better. Meeting this goal has transformed my way of thinking. It has empowered me. I have no desire to stay the same. I have no desire to remain defeated. I will not.
I want you to make this your D-Day. What changes do you need to make? What do you want to accomplish? What mindsets do you need to change? What goals do you need to set?
Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Write down your goals. Write down this sentence.
Starting today, I will ______________________ and I will celebrate my victory one year from today
“The soil of a man’s heart is stonier; a man grows what he can and tends it.”
Jud Crandall – Stephen King’s Pet Sematary
Growing up like most kids in the 80s and 90s, I had an obsession with Stephen King. He would write these great stories. A group of average kids, or a family living a normal life in a small town would have an encounter with darkness or have to do battle with evil.
Those ragtag groups of kids, those small New England towns remind me very much of of adolescence in Roulette, PA, and the adventures and stories we saw.
Growing up in a small town like mine you knew about the dark secrets. The guy who murdered his mom and dad with an axe. The guy who hung himself in our barn. The prominent men in town who had been rumored to have gang-raped a teenage girl sixty years ago. (she later killed herself.They are all dead now)
Once, a “snowbird” was at his summer cabin, and a man named “Snake” had killed him with an axe in his garage. Before they had a suspect, just a week after the murder, my buddies and I camped in the woods behind the cabin. You could see it through the trees.
I recently watched the original Pet Sematary movie. (I haven’t seen the new one yet.)
Over your course of #RiseXUp We’ve been encouraging you to RISE UP and COME ALIVE to take back your life, and to start over.
But you know full well that there are some things that should stay dead. Things that men should not do. Things that you should not embrace. Things you should never go back to.
It’s a BAD IDEA to put that cat in the Micmac cemetery because it’s going to come back. And it’s going to be a mess.
Sometimes dead is better.
It’s not a good idea for you to send your ex girlfriend a text message or a snap asking her how she’s doing, while your wife is sleeping in bed next to you.
Sometimes dead is better.
It’s not a good idea to go hang out at the bar when you’re striving for sober. Chances are that alcohol is going to have a siren’s call, and you’re gonna hear it loud and clear.
Sometimes dead is better.
It’s not a good idea to dig up the past and hold it against someone you love – because resentment not only kills a relationship, it eats you from the inside out.
Sometimes dead is better.
If you’ve got trauma that you’ve worked hard to overcome, but you keep reopening the wounds as you turn once again to your old coping mechanisms that you’ve used for years, drugs, food, porn, rage… you’ve got to be vigilant because…
Sometimes dead is better.
If you come from an abusive past where your parents didn’t show you the kind of love a kid should be shown, you’ve got to cut ties with that, so that your kids never know it. You’ve got to make a solemn vow, and break the curses, so that they never have to endure what you did.
Sometimes dead is better.
And even when you make that vow, but you find yourself repeating the mistakes of your fathers and grandfathers, you’ve got to break the chains again, and stop the cycle, because…
