In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher addresses a number of things that he shouldn’t have to say – things that all men should no – but he’s still going to say them – because some of you keep getting them wrong.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about one of the oldest laws written into the fabric of the universe – sowing and reaping. The Manlihood ManCast is a podcast for men, talking about personal development for men,
We all want a harvest. But to get a harvest, we must do a few things,
(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
After dating for some time, throwing a reception, exchanging your vows and finally getting married, you think it’s going to last forever. Alas, marriage is a fragile and sometimes ephemeral thing. Every man has his forte, and dealing with a divorce might not be the one thing you’re particularly good at. You know that sometimes it’s rather difficult to deal with your feelings, and it gets unimaginably difficult when you add another person’s rollercoaster of emotions to the equation. However, there are a few things you should have in mind that could help you with accepting the whole process and going through it. Here they are.
The past is in the past
When you invest a lot of time and energy into your marriage, and it breaks at one point, it’s normal to start remembering all the wonderful moments you’ve been through together. Nevertheless, you can’t let yourself be stuck in the past, as it won’t help your current situation one tiny bit. You have to be bent on getting the best you can out of it. Think about moving to a place you’ve always wanted to live at, invest some more time into your hobbies, friends, travel someplace new, anything that will positively affect your well-being. It takes time to process everything and remember who you were before your marriage, so try to turn the situation in your favour.
Engage with your kids
If you have kids, you should be reminded that the whole divorce might be taking a heavier toll on them that it is on you. Men tend to be reserved when it comes to opening up and talking about emotions, but you should take a different approach in order to play your role as a father. If you act your part, spend time with them, stay calm and be honest about what’s going on, this exposure to divorce shouldn’t be as difficult as it normally can be. With the help of family lawyers in Sydney, your divorce can go smoothly, and this swift process helps the kids handle the whole situation better. That’s why you should be cooperative and reasonable, which will speed up the process and make it easier for everyone involved.
Be respectful until the end
We all keep some of our emotions under our hats, but there is a limit for a healthy amount of that. If you’ve been repressing a lot of them over many years, divorce might be a stimulus to let them all out. It’s certainly a natural reaction to be angry, bewildered, irritated, and annoyed, but you should be careful as to how you’re releasing those feelings out into the world. Don’t go belittling your spouse, calling her names, or calling her out for something she did. Also, try to keep her private life a secret and forget about revenge or anything of that sort. Mutual respect is a life-saver.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Along the way, many triggers are bound to pop up, and you have to learn to cope with them. Some places, people, or everyday things around you will remind you of your spouse and it could cause all of the previously-experienced emotions to surge out once again. If you feel that you’re not doing well at those instances, think about going to therapy or reading self-help books. As little as a friendly conversation with your dear ones can also go a long way into making you feel better. Things get better over time, but you have to be patient when everything gets dark and gloomy, as that’s an integral part of a divorce.
To conclude
Some things in life can’t be controlled or changed, and everything that’s left at those moments is to learn to accept and adapt to them. Try to slow down with rebounds and a hectic lifestyle that you might regret later, and make sure to slowly start establishing a new life. A post-divorce life is filled with numerous challenges, and the most important thing is to take care of your well-being and work on setting your new life on the right course.
Peter Minkoff is a lifestyle writer at Bond magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.
Mindset is everything. The most powerful force in your life. Set it on winning, and you’ll be a more powerful man.
Work hard. Every Day.
Nothing good comes free. You’ve got to earn it. If you want to be a more powerful man, you’ll have to earn that. So work hard. Grind at everything you do.
Surround yourself with winners.
They say you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Are you hanging otu with losers? Or are you surrounding yourself with powerful men that will teach you how to dominate?
View Failure as your teacher.
Everybody fails. Stop looking at it as the destination. It’s not wrong to fail. It’s wrong to not learn from your failure.
Become a student of leadership.
If you want to become a powerful man, you have to study leadership principles. It will do you no good to have power and have no clue how to use it.
Serve people.
This may seem counterintuitive, but the truth is – if we want to be great — if we want to be a more powerful man and to dominate – our perspective can easily become warped. It’s about serving people. It’s about helping people. That is how you will gain influence, wealth, or whatever it is you seek. The true rewards though are not in position or power, but in relationships.
Be disciplined
If you want to be a more powerful man, you have to train. If you wanted to be able to lift more weights, you have to discipline your body and train it to be stronger. The same is true in every aspect of your life.
Have integrity
They say power corrupts. If you want to be a more powerful man, but you don’t have a foundation of integrity – it means nothing. And integrity in and of itself will help you build and grow your influence.
