self help

February 19 2018

MMC 36: Man Crush Monday – Before the Bullet

Today’s ManCrushMonday is well known for meeting his untimely demise from a bullet. It’s a notorious death. We’ve all heard about it. In fact – the last few years leading up his death are the years we are all familiar with.

Before that – he was raised as the grandchild of four irish immigrants – immigrants who seized the American dream, and their family did well for themselves. Well enough, anyway, that Jack grew up in boarding school, as his father spent long stretches of time away from the family on business. Young Jack blew up toilets with cherry bombs, and led a gang of trouble makers called “The Muckers”

That troublemaking though was offset by health problems – one doctor thought it may have been leukemia – but another diagnosed him with collitis – a condition known to be very painful and debilitating for men. Those health problems, including a bad back, made it difficult for Jack to finish his education, and to join the Navy – his dad had to pull a few strings to get him there – and the young man went on to serve with distinction during WWII. Those distinctions made him an American hero – and he quickly grew in his influence.

But who was this man, now regarded as a hero? Who was this man who shot for the moon, and did so much for his country?
For his devotion to his country, persistence through pain – and for leaving a lasting legacy – we salute John Fitzgerald Kennedy – J.F.K.

___________

If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 16 2018

MMC 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Women typically want to be heard and understood. So when she is telling you something – listen. And try to understand. Don’t assume that her emotion is directed at you, or even if is – that it means she doesn’t love you. Just listen, and do your best to understand what she is saying.
Women also need security. They need to know you aren’t going to leave them for a younger model, that you are going to work hard to provide, that you won’t let a rapist break into the house at night. Find ways to communicate that you will provide security.

Every woman is different and unique, and she has different and unique needs. Part of making a romance work is studying each other. So learn about her, how she receives love, and then give her that love.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

___________

Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

___________

February 15 2018

MMC 34: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 3

Episode 34: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 3

Funny how Valentine’s Day conjured up image of Cupid shooting people with a bow and arrow… sometimes, a relationship feels more like a Valentine’s Day Massacre!

How do you avoid screwing up your romance?

You have to apply grace.
No – not Grace Slick, legendary singer of Jefferson Starship.
No – not grace like a ballerina.

Grace is choosing to show favor whether it is merited or not.

Your partner isn’t perfect. She’s gonna mess up sometimes. As are you. You’re going to leave your underwear on the floor again, or she’s going to spend money without checking with you first. She’s going to lose her cool and call you a name. You’re gonna stub your toe and swear in front of the kids.

It’s going to happen. You will make mistakes.

A good romance applies grace – it doesn’t ignore the mistakes – it chooses to forgive and work with them.

Are there things that are irreconcilable? Sure. But if you want a romance to work – you have to choose to do everything in your power to reconcile as much as you possible can.

___________

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

Marriage - Masculinity - Manhood, Manlihood

February 14 2018

MMC 33 – Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

As we approach Valentine’s Day – let’s look at how we can prevent a Valentine’s Day Massacre.
How can we avoid the carnage of a bad romance? Sorry Lady Gaga, a bad romance is NOT a good thing…

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

___________

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/mmc-33-valentines-day-massacre-how-not-to-screw-up-your-romance-part-2-manlihood-mancast

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

___________

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 13 2018

MMC 32 – Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 1

Episode 32: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 1

As we embrace the Holiday of St. Valentine’s Day, we are surrounded with pink hearts and cupid’s arrows, and chocolate – but the truth is – romance isn’t always so sweet and frilly. Real love takes hard work, and we’ve seen many times when the romance around us looks more like the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre than it does a Hallmark Movie.

Don’t screw it up! There are so many pitfalls that can murder your love story. Let’s start with the biggest one. DON’T CHEAT.

You would think that would be simple right? Then why do 22% of men, and 14 percent of women cheat on their significant other? Why do ⅓ of all marriages have an incident of infidelity?

Cheating starts long before the act. They start in your mind, when you start to think of someone else, and when you start to justify infidelity.

Want to prevent it? Start with correcting those errant thoughts when they pop in your head. Start by putting safeguards in place that prevent you from being in a position where anything COULD happen.
___________
If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!
Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 2 2018

MMC 25: Watch your mouth! – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-25-watch-your-mouth-z-1618-448-pm

Episode 25: Watch your mouth!

Men, The words you speak have power – and they affect what happens in your life!

Passive people don’t bother controlling their mouths. They let their mouths control THEM. These are the kinds of words that come out of the mouth of passive men.

Gossip- Talking about someone else’s business – whether it is true or not is gossip. Bottom line is – if it’s not your business – then you should not be talking about it!
Anger- There is a time and a place for anger. It’s a valid emotion, and there are proper ways to express it. But more often than not – we should just shut up, rather than snap at people we love.
Criticism- We hate it when people tell us how to do our job – but we’re often full of criticism toward others. We ride our kids about their grades, their appearance, their chores. We gripe about our wives, we complain about our jobs and or bosses, and our employees. Their work and effort is never enough. When you die – your family will remember the words you have spoken. Do you want them to remember all the times you told them how to stack the plates? Or do you want them to remember how good you made them feel when they did something right?

The truth is we need to replace these words with the kind of words that make a positive difference! Let’s offer words that resolve conflicts, that encourage people, and build them up. Make it a point to think before you speak!

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here:
http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-watch-your-mouth/

___________

If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 1 2018

MMC 24: What you think – you ARE – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-24-what-you-think-you-are-s-1618-442-pm

Episode 24:

What you think – you ARE

Your mind is a powerful thing. I’m not talking about Uri Gellar spoon bending stuff. I’m talking about the fact that what you think about affects your actions and your behaviors. What we need is mind-control – more accurately – self-control.

If you think about something, you’ll be drawn to it. That hot girl at work? Fantasize about her, and you’ll be drawn to her. That cigarette? That donut? Yeah.

Thoughts pop into our head, and then we chose to reject them, or entertain them.

“Sit down and stay awhile! Have a cup of coffee!”

I guess what we need to do is treat some of our thoughts like door to door salesmen. If someone comes to your door and asks if he can come inside and throw some dirt on your floor to demonstrate his vaccuum cleaner – you would probably tell him “No thanks! See you later!”

And yet – if a friend stopped by with a meatloaf and wanted to visit – we’d say “Come on in!”

We need to stop being PASSIVE about what thoughts can take residence in our head.

Here’s a good checklist.

Is it true?
Is it honorable?
Is it just?
Is it pure?
Is it caring?
Is it commendable?
Is it good?
Is it worth sharing?

A PASSIVE mind let’s itself be raped and abused by thoughts that don’t belong there.

Do your thoughts say harsh and cruel things about yourself? Do they say harsh and cruel things about others? Are they full of anger and spite? Are they full of illicit sex? Are they selfish?

If so – chances are good that whatever you LET in your head will eventually come OUT in your life.

Don’t let those kinds of thoughts settle in. Kick them out. Replace them with GOOD thoughts.

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-what-you-think-you-are/

January 31 2018

Episode 23: Be Aggressive/Assertive/Positive – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-23-be-aggressiveassertivepositive-1618-436-pm
Episode 23: Be Aggressive/Assertive/Positive

Passive men will let life happen to them. They will say, “Whatever!” when faced with a decision – they will let their wives and kids make and break the rules of their home. They’ll let their boss walk all over them. They’ll let their business, health, and relationship fall apart instead of dealing with them.

My advice is to be AGGRESSIVE – ASSERTIVE – POSITIVE

Be Aggressive

Take charge of YOUR life – and lead yourself. Hunt out the holes in your integrity, and patch them up. Set goals and crush them. Determine your path – and run it like a stinking clydesdale.

Aggression has a negative connotation – so we want to clarify – unless you are physically protecting yourself or your family from harm – aggressiveness should not be directed toward people.

Be Assertive

Communicate expectations clearly, and consistently. People cannot treat you the way you want them to treat you unless you tell them HOW to treat you. Don’t be afraid to be “the bad guy”

Be Positive

Eyeore will NEVER be on top – why? because he’s a sad-sack-hack full of sawdust and complaints.

You’ve got to use positive words. Because they are like magic.

Instead of dragging yourself and everyone around you down with negative words (I can’t /You always… / I hate… / I’ll never… ) then start filling it with positivity!

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-be-aggressiveassertivepositive/

January 30 2018

MMC22: Take Responsibility – Manlihood ManCast

Episode 22: Take Responsibility

There was a phrase that I heard a boy constantly. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

Probably because I was always making excuses and passing the buck.

I have to admit – I never really understood it for a long time. Someone told me once, “If you want to get out of the mess you are in – you need to embrace the fact that you are in the position you are in because of the choices you have made.”

I’ll be honest. This pissed me off. I was an idiot – and I blamed my financial situation on the company that laid me off – on the system, which seemed designed to keep me down – on the economy – on student loan companies for tricking me into signing them – etc. etc.

Now, I hear the echoes of those words in my ears, and I realize that I really am where I am because of the choices I have made. Some of those choices were good choices – but even good choices have tough consequences!

No one is holding you down. No one is keeping you back.

Stop blaming racism, politics, bullies, your crappy parents, your ex-wife, your lack of friends or anything else for your problems.

Sometimes, I think our “problems” are really just opportunities to test our metal. We look at them as holes that we fall into, when really, they are the CHANCE to prove to ourselves and those around us just what kind of men we are!

But it won’t happen if we make excuses. It won’t happen if we blame others (even if they are to blame!)

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here:
http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-take-responsibility/

January 26 2018

MMC20 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be a Better Man

Episode 20: Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 4 – Be a Better Man

A wise man once told that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results.The same guy told me about the CANEI Principle. (Constant and Never Ending Improvement)

I think that all too often, as men, we don’t give any thought at all to our own self-improvement. We do our job, we come home, we go to bed, we get up – and we do it all again.

I think that it is important to understand that our children – even when they are babies, are learning from us. When we look at them – we can SEE the CANEI principle at work, right? They start off pooping and screaming, and then gradually learn to walk and talk and wipe their own butts. Soon, they are reading, building with legos, playing football, driving, dating, marrying, and parenting!

It’s important for us to try not to forget our need to improve as well! We want our little boys to grow up to be good men, who never stop improving! We want our little girls to be good women, who keep growing and maturing, right?

Part of being a good dad is to constantly be striving to be a better man.

Your kids are watching every step you take. And what they see will determine how they live the rest of their lives. Yeah – I know that’s a big challenge. If you don’t measure up – at least let them see you trying to improve.

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here: