self help

We decided to run with a creepy halloween thing as we talk about personal development for men this month. Blood and Guts may sound creepy – but let’s turn it around and talk about the offal and innards from a completely different perspective.

Blood has been thought of as sacred since the first moment someone nicked their finger and saw the dark red fluid flow out of it.

It carries life – and has inspired mythology, religion, folklore, and storytellers to view it as a mystical and powerful force.

Your heart pumps blood through your veins – and it moves all through your body.

Let’s use this metaphor to ask a couple of personal development questions,men.

We often call our emotional center our “heart.” And if the physical heart pumps blood through your veins – what is the emotional force that the figurative heart pumps through your veins?

PASSION.

So for the sake of analogy – think of PASSION as BLOOD.

In every man, there is a passion that drive him. Even the tired and weak man has that passion pumping through him – though he may have a weak pulse, or low blood pressure.

But the best men are those that have harnessed and trained their body to work with their flowing passion to get things accomplished.

What are you passionate about? What drives you? What passion flows in your veins?

Take some time to identify the things you are passionate about. Then find a way to embrace and strengthen and train yourself – like an athelete – a finely tuned machine to use them to the best of your ability.

We decided to run with a creepy halloween thing as we talk about personal development for men this month. Blood and Guts may sound creepy – but let’s turn it around and talk about the offal and innards from a completely different perspective.

Testicals are gross. When you really think about how they work, they’re awesome, and they are gross. All you have to do is imagine Anthony Bourdain as he travels around the world, and inevitably, someone will serve him a dish of testicals from some native species, and he always says, “It tastes like balls. They always taste the same.”

We often describe someone with GUTS or GRIT as having “intestinal fortitude”- I like to joke that someone with BALLS has “testicular fortitude.”

Let’s explore that. First of all, I’ve known women with more testicular fortitude than you can imagine – so I don’t mean to identify courage, strength, and honor solely with masculine specific parts, but I want to emphasize that there should be a correlation to having ACTUAL testicals and having BALLS.

I always thought that my brother had the most testicular fortitude of anyone that I knew. The kid was fearless. I watched him surf down a hill of crumbling shale on a big chunk of flagstone. It flipped over and took a chunk out of his hand. He bled and cried a bit, but it was worth it to have that kind of adventure. Another time he got in a bicycle accident that ended up with him getting hit in the testicles. The doctor told him not to ride his bike for awhile. That night, after icing down his sore gonads, he climbed to the top of the swingset and started walking it like a tightrope.

That was his behavior as a kid – he does show a little more responsibility as an adult, but he certainly hasn’t suffered from any “shrinkage” of testicular fortitude.

Why is it that we settle for lives of comfort and safety? Why do we NOT say or do the things that should be said or done? Why are we content to watch adventures on television, or to play adventures on playstations instead of having the real thing?

Why are we okay with expecting other people to protect us, and not preparing to protect ourselves?
Why do we minimize risk and then complain about the little return that we receive?

We are men in need of testicular fortitude.

Are you NOT a man of courage? Do you feel you DON’T have the balls you need? It starts by making a goal for yourself, and then doing it. Courage is a muscle – and you have to exercise it.
Start by picking something that you didn’t think you could do – and then just do it.

A few weeks ago – I walked 15 miles in one day…. something I never thought I could do!
Maybe it’s an adventure sport, or just an adventure!
Maybe it’s a fitness goal – or asking a girl on a date.

Just start building that courage by taking small steps until those steps get bigger and bigger and build confidence.

We decided to run with a creepy halloween thing as we talk about personal development for men this month. Blood and Guts may sound creepy – but let’s turn it around and talk about the offal and innards from a completely different perspective.

I tell people frequently that this isn’t a Christian blog. I’m a Christian though – and I find deep meaning in the teachings of Jesus. I never want anyone to think I’m forcing religion on them, but I do want people to think about the truths that are in the Bible – because no matter what you believe about it – there really is great truth in those pages.

One of these truths involves plucking out eyeballs.

 Matthew 18: 7Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

The truth here is this… if we are committed to be better men – there are things we must stop doing. Mindsets we must change, behaviours we must modify.

Some of those things are easy to stop- others take extreme action.  If you want to stop a behaviour, you need to do whatever it takes to stop it.

Most people that want to quit drinking, for example, aren’t willing to pour all the booze in the house down the drain, aren’t willing to stop hanging out in social situations with drinking, and aren’t willing to get checked in and get professional help. So they often don’t stop drinking.

Most people that want to stop looking at porn aren’t willing to change the way they use their computers, to install accountability software, to talk to their wife about it, or to sell their smartphone and get a flip phone.

Most people who need to lose weight aren’t willing to stop eating pizza everyday, to put in countless hours of exercise, and to make drastic lifestyle changes.

If we want to defeat our bad behaviour – we have to take extreme and drastic changes… the “plucking of the eyeballs” or the “cutting off of the hand.”

We decided to run with a creepy halloween thing as we talk about personal development for men this month. Blood and Guts may sound creepy – but let’s turn it around and talk about the offal and innards from a completely different perspective.

In the movie Apocalypto, directed by Mel Gibson, a young Mayan man is set to be slaughtered. The Mayans believed that a bloody human sacrifice was required of their gods to bring favor on their land. After all – while the brutality was in practice, their kingdom thrived! In their brutal and twisted minds – it made sense!

Of course we know that killing innocents as an act of sacrifice to the gods is not a good thing.

But our culture is built on sacrifice – and I contend that it’s a cornerstone of manlihood for a man to be willing to lay down his life.

When a man swears an oath to his country, as a soldier, a police officer, a firefighter, etc –  he pledges to serve the greater good at a great personal cost. In order for him to serve, his life may be required of him. They all know this – and yet they agree to serve.

We may not all be heroes, signing or name in blood with an oath to serve and protect – but we should all strive to live our lives in a way that reflect some of that courage.

Sometimes a commitment to sacrifice doesn’t mean death – sometimes it means going without to provide for our children. Sometimes it means doing the right thing, when it costs us dearly to do so. Sometimes it means standing up to defend against wrongdoing around us.

Are you willing to give your life, or part of your life to the service of others? Are you willing to put yourself second, to put your needs behind the needs of others? Are you willing to charge in to danger to help another in need?