Independence: Your own two feet

Americans love their independence. We love our freedom. It’s hard wired in each of us to be independent… and this July, we explore what that means

If we keep last week’s post about balance in mind – then we can certainly look at what ti means to be independent – as a virtue.

When we are born into a family, they take responsibility to raise us. They feed, clothe, shelter, nurture, and train us – and then comes the day when all of that responsibility passes back to us. For some, it’s when we graduate high school, or turn 18. For others, it’s when we graduate college. For others – the lines are quite blurry, as they try to navigate their way onto the freeway of life.

It’s vital for a man to stand on his own two feet. While it’s obvious that not everyone’s circumstance or situation is the same, we all need to acknowledge that the idea of “failing to launch” is prevalent. Men who perpetually live at home with their mother, and take no responsibility for their future are really just overgrown boys.

Now I KNOW, that there are circumstances where it’s okay for a man to live at home, to delay his departure. Maybe he’s still going to school, and needs to share expenses. Maybe he needs to stay with mom and pop for a few months to get back on his feet. Maybe mom and dad needs someone to help take care of THEM because of health problems. I’m not judging those situations.

But if you are living at home with no intention of moving out, or no intention of contributing to the living expenses, and well being of the family. If you are an adult, living at home, with no job prospects on the horizon, then listen up.

The most rewarding thing a man can do is to provide for himself, and maybe even be able to give back to his parents for the time they supported him.

I’ll never forget the way I felt the first time I took my parents out to dinner. Usually, they offered to help foot the bill. Which was nice, and I always appreciated it. Even today, I can’t take them out very often. But it really does feel rewarding when I am able to give to mom and dad, knowing how generous and selfless they’ve been to take care of me.

There’s also freedom in knowing that you are in charge of your life. No one can tell you what to do with your life because you pay the bills.

Whatever station you find yourself in – maybe you are a teenager in high school, or a college student, or even a full-blown grown up living in mom’s basement…. start making steps NOW to move out. Get a job. Save your money. Learn skills that will translate into a higher paycheck in the future. Whatever you do – make a commitment to get on your own two feet as soon as it’s humanly possible.