manhood

January 26 2018

MMC20 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be a Better Man

Episode 20: Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 4 – Be a Better Man

A wise man once told that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results.The same guy told me about the CANEI Principle. (Constant and Never Ending Improvement)

I think that all too often, as men, we don’t give any thought at all to our own self-improvement. We do our job, we come home, we go to bed, we get up – and we do it all again.

I think that it is important to understand that our children – even when they are babies, are learning from us. When we look at them – we can SEE the CANEI principle at work, right? They start off pooping and screaming, and then gradually learn to walk and talk and wipe their own butts. Soon, they are reading, building with legos, playing football, driving, dating, marrying, and parenting!

It’s important for us to try not to forget our need to improve as well! We want our little boys to grow up to be good men, who never stop improving! We want our little girls to be good women, who keep growing and maturing, right?

Part of being a good dad is to constantly be striving to be a better man.

Your kids are watching every step you take. And what they see will determine how they live the rest of their lives. Yeah – I know that’s a big challenge. If you don’t measure up – at least let them see you trying to improve.

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here:

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
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January 25 2018

MMC19 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be Proactive

Be a proactive parent

A pastor once painted a picture for me that really sunk in.

A Thermometer measures the temperature in the room. It is reactive. A Thermostat sets the temperature in the room. It is Pro-Active. Be a Thermostat.

The truth is, Dads, that we set the temperature of our homes – if we’re grumpy – everyone is grumpy. (Preaching to myself here folks!)

But more importantly – if we are reacting to the stress, if we are reacting to our kid’s mouthiness, if we are reacting to our frustrations with our wives, then we are operating in such a way that we are causing damage. We’re not supposed to measure the temperature – we’re supposed to set it!

Instead of REACTING to the stress of the situation – we need to be PROACTIVE – that means taking the time to think ahead and try to prevent it. It means when a situation occurs, our approach is to offer solutions, not complaints!

When unexpected situations do arise, how we react says everything to our kids. If they screw up, and we react by shaming them, instead of teaching them, if we react by exploding in anger, instead of correcting them, we end up creating a mess of other issues down the road.
Let’s commit to be proactive in how we parent! Let’s commit to control our emotions, rather than to be controlled BY our emotions.

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here:

http://www.manlihood.com/welcome-to-daddyhood-part-3-be-pro-active/

January 25 2018

MMC18 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be Involved

Be Involved as a father

I remember the moment when I found out that my wife was not only pregnant with one child- but with TWINS. (Those twins were born on our one year wedding anniversary – which was the Fourth of July – they are now adults!)

It was one of the scariest and most exciting moments of my life. There was no air in that little exam room when the nurse swung around the ultrasound machine, and I saw two little lumps of love on the screen.

Being a dad has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done in this life. I hope that when I die – and people talk about me, the first thing they say is, “He was such a good dad.”

I know I’ve not been a perfect father – but I am proud of how my kids are turning out. Sometimes because of me and sometimes in spite of me.

Kids need their dads to Be Involved. This means so many things – not the least of which is conversation. Have a conversation with your kids every day. Ask about their day, about their school, about their homework.

When they are too young to talk? Talk to them anyway!

(Note – Mom needs you to be involved too – change diapers, clean up messes, rock babies to sleep)

Play games, build towers, dig holes, wrestle in the floor, and jump in leaves.

Kids love and need to have fun with Dad. Be sure to include Mom in this nonsense. She might say she doesn’t have time for such things – but she needs them too!

Kids need you to be involved in the not so fun stuff too – discipline – correction – punishment.

Dad, you really need to take the LEAD in these things – rather than just ignore them and leave them for Mom to do!

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here:

Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 2 – Be Involved

January 15 2018

Episode 11 – Manlihood Mancast – ManCrushMonday – Tom Landry

It’s #MancrushMonday – what hero will we celebrate today?
Tom Landry was the coach of the Dallas Cowboys for 29 years. For 20 years. He led his team to 2 super bowl victories, five NFC titles, 13 Divisional titles, and 20 playoff victories.

He wasn’t just a football coach though – he was a genius of leadership.

Check out these quotes from Tom Landry:
Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you’re in control, they’re in control.

Confidence comes from knowing what you’re doing. If you are prepared for something, you usually do it. If not, you usually fall flat on your face.

People striving, being knocked down and coming back… this is what builds character in a man.

I may not be a sports guy – but Tom Landry’s commitment to leadership is why he is this week’s mancrushmonday

January 12 2018

Episode 10 – Manlihood Mancast – Love and Junk – She Doesn’t HAVE To Love You

You may have the woman of your dreams all lined up. She might even think you are pretty cool – maybe even date you for a little while…

But let’s make something clear – she doesn’t HAVE to love you. You cannot force someone to love you. As much as love is a choice for YOU – it’s a choice for HER.

When you chose to tell her that you love her, and to show her that you love her – obviously, you hope that she wants to give you love in return. But…

She does not HAVE to love you.

You cannot MAKE her love you.

All you can do is show her who you are, how you feel, and how you value her. If she reciprocates, it can be a beautiful thing. But never, ever, assume that you are OWED love in return. Love doesn’t demand reciprocation.

January 11 2018

Episode 9 – Manlihood Mancast – Love and Junk – Love Requires Action AND Words

“I love you.” People make a big deal about those words, and when they are supposed to be said. We’ve made “I love you” into a holy grail… but Those words mean NOTHING if they aren’t followed up with action.

“I love you” and yet, I won’t commit to you. I won’t marry you, because I don’t think I love you permanently.
“I love you” and yet – I’ll chew your face off if you don’t do something right.
“I love you” and yet – I still love those other hot women on my computer screen.

If you really love someone, it has to be more than just words. It has to be words AND action.

And the words DO matter – why would you love someone and never tell them? Make sure to tell the people in your life that you love them (your wife, your kids, your parents, even your friends.)

January 10 2018

Episode 8 – Manlihood Mancast – Love and Junk – Love isn’t an Emotion

Your heart beats out of your chest. Blood starts pumping to your face, to your groin. Your mouth dries up – or worse- starts salivating. You can’t concentrate, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep.

Because of the emotions that seem to flood those budding relationships – it’s easy to see why people associate those FEELINGS with love.

Love is a choice. It’s not how you feel. In 10 years, that beautiful young bride you married will be a little wrinklier, and those butterflies in your gut might feel more like bricks… it doesn’t mean love is any less powerful or beautiful, but it’s definitely not as emotional. In fact – after almost 20 years of marriage, I can tell you – that I love her more everyday.
Don’t get confused about the nature of love, or you’ll find yourself giving up on it way too early.

January 9 2018

Episode 7 – Manlihood Mancast – Love and Junk – Eliminating the Junk So You Can Love

In our culture – our idea of love has been sugar coated and painted up like Caitlin Jenner. It’s hard to recognize the real thing, thanks to the way our culture has misrepresented it over the years.

First of all – Love is not just romantic. In English – we have one word for love. You love pizza, you love The Black Keys, you love your dog, and you love your wife.This means we need to think about how we love things, and prioritize what kind of value they have,

Also – Don’t get caught up in repeating the cycles that you’ve always been in – or the cycles that your parents may have modeled for you. Love deserves a clean slate. You may need to forgive some people that have wronged you, or you may need to keep reminding yourself that your past is simply in the past.

January 8 2018

Episode 6- Manlihood Mancast – ManCrushMonday – John Paul Jones

This weeks mancrushmonday is John Paul Jones. He was a naval commander in the American Revolution. This dude was a rebel – he had run ins with the law, and was accused of piracy, and being too harsh with his crew. He led the American Navy to victory – and then went on to serve in the Russian Navy.

Jones is credited with some of the wisest quotes I’ve heard. Check these out.

If fear is cultivated it will become stronger, if faith is cultivated it will achieve mastery.

It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win.

I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harm’s way.

And his most well known quote:
I have not yet begun to fight!
It’s that ferocity and strength that makes John Paul Jones this week’s, Man Crush Monday

October 31 2017

Blood and Guts: What Flows in your veins

We decided to run with a creepy halloween thing as we talk about personal development for men this month. Blood and Guts may sound creepy – but let’s turn it around and talk about the offal and innards from a completely different perspective.

Blood has been thought of as sacred since the first moment someone nicked their finger and saw the dark red fluid flow out of it.

It carries life – and has inspired mythology, religion, folklore, and storytellers to view it as a mystical and powerful force.

Your heart pumps blood through your veins – and it moves all through your body.

Let’s use this metaphor to ask a couple of personal development questions,men.

We often call our emotional center our “heart.” And if the physical heart pumps blood through your veins – what is the emotional force that the figurative heart pumps through your veins?

PASSION.

So for the sake of analogy – think of PASSION as BLOOD.

In every man, there is a passion that drive him. Even the tired and weak man has that passion pumping through him – though he may have a weak pulse, or low blood pressure.

But the best men are those that have harnessed and trained their body to work with their flowing passion to get things accomplished.

What are you passionate about? What drives you? What passion flows in your veins?

Take some time to identify the things you are passionate about. Then find a way to embrace and strengthen and train yourself – like an athelete – a finely tuned machine to use them to the best of your ability.