manliness

January 22 2019

MMC 49 | No More Mr. Nice Guy | Josh Hatcher| Manlihood ManCast

In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about the difference between Nice and Kind.

Got kids? Listen, to father a child is simple. Anyone with the right equipment can impregnate a woman.

But that does not mean that fatherhood is simple. There’s a few things you need to know about being a dad.

1. This matters. A lot.

43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

Statistics

2. Don’t just BE there, BE INVOLVED

Your kids need you to be present – but that doesn’t mean in the building, playing X-Box and yelling at them. Change diapers. Show them how to treat their mother by treating her good yourself. Tell them that you love them. Laugh with them.

3. Discipline equals freedom

This little formula for success, made popular by Jocko Willink is true. Don’t get hung up on the idea that discipline is spanking. Discipline is training. Train those kids in the path they are supposed to walk. Doing so – will ensure that they have FREEDOM in the rest of their life.

4. This is hard.

I’m not gonna lie. Being a dad is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It’s not easy to clean up puke at 2am. It’s not easy to work two jobs to pay the bills, AND make sure that my kids feel the weight of my presence in their lives. It’s not easy to try to set an example, when what I want to do is whine and gripe.

5. But it’s worth it.

Gosh, Kids are great. Watching them grow from little beans bouncing in mom’s belly to fully grown adults, making responsible choices, and working hard and contributing to society. It’s rewarding. I’ve heard it said that kids are like arrows in the hands of a warrior. (Blessed is he whose quiver is full of them.) I draw them back, aim them, and let them fly. And sometimes we miss, but seeing them hit the mark is the most rewarding feeling I’ve ever known.

6. If you wait till you’re ready, you never will.

You’ll never be able to “afford” to have kids. Having kids isn’t something you can be ready for. What you need to do the job comes with them. Pops right out with the umbilical cord. You think you aren’t ready for this, and then the doc hands you that baby, and you feel the weight of the responsibility, and the joy and pride of making a life, and all at once, you’re given what you need.

7. You have to choose.

So, you’re handed a baby and a new name (Daddy) and you now have to choose to accept the challenge. Here’s the thing. I don’t believe that rejecting it’s an option. I mean, people DO reject it. But you shouldn’t. You choose then and there to be a father. And you make that choice, day in and day out to make sure their needs are met, that the example is set for them, that they are loved, cherished, corrected, and challenged. You have to choose it.

Want to weigh in? Comment here, or log in to our private facebook group – The Manlihood Mancave to discuss this with other men!

Want more posts on Fatherhood?
Welcome to Daddyhood Part 1
Welcome to Daddyhood Part 2
Welcome to Daddyhood Part 3

Welcome to Daddyhood Part 4

Interested in more Personal development for men? Check out our website at Manlihood.com for more info!

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January 2 2019

MMC 48 – How To Find a Good Woman | Josh Hatcher | Manlihood Mancast

A good woman is hard to find. Or is she?
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about ten things you need to know about getting a good woman.

Start by making yourself a better man
Be satisfied in who you are without her
Know what you want – Make a list
Once a cheater, always a cheater
Don’t date crazy
Consider the source
Intentionally and deliberately get to know her
Guard your heart
Be careful with commitment
Friendship first

Want to weigh in? Comment here, or log in to our private facebook group – The Manlihood Mancave to discuss this with other men!

February 26 2018

MMC 41- Man Crush Monday – The Last of the Barenuckles

Episode 41- Man Crush Monday – The Last of the Barenuckles

Keep in mind – not all of the heroes we recognize are perfect. If you look hard enough – you’ll find a reason to disqualify anybody from admiration. We propose a better plan, though – look for the good first. You can learn a good lesson from anyone if you are willing.

Growing up as an Irish Immigrant at the turn of the last century usually meant you’d be tough – and prone to fighting. Young John grew up on the streets of South Boston – but his parents had hoped he’d be a Catholic Priest – not known for their fisticuffs.

John dropped out of Boston College to try his hand at baseball. Eventually – bareknuckle boxing was his sport of choice. Despite the sport’s battle for legitimacy and eventual loss to a more sensible form of gloved boxing. (which John also excelled at.)
You might recognize John – his likeness has become a popular “tough guy” meme.

For being a hard as nails man with grit – for being skilled at his sport – today’s Man Crush Monday is John Sullivan

If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 19 2018

MMC 36: Man Crush Monday – Before the Bullet

Today’s ManCrushMonday is well known for meeting his untimely demise from a bullet. It’s a notorious death. We’ve all heard about it. In fact – the last few years leading up his death are the years we are all familiar with.

Before that – he was raised as the grandchild of four irish immigrants – immigrants who seized the American dream, and their family did well for themselves. Well enough, anyway, that Jack grew up in boarding school, as his father spent long stretches of time away from the family on business. Young Jack blew up toilets with cherry bombs, and led a gang of trouble makers called “The Muckers”

That troublemaking though was offset by health problems – one doctor thought it may have been leukemia – but another diagnosed him with collitis – a condition known to be very painful and debilitating for men. Those health problems, including a bad back, made it difficult for Jack to finish his education, and to join the Navy – his dad had to pull a few strings to get him there – and the young man went on to serve with distinction during WWII. Those distinctions made him an American hero – and he quickly grew in his influence.

But who was this man, now regarded as a hero? Who was this man who shot for the moon, and did so much for his country?
For his devotion to his country, persistence through pain – and for leaving a lasting legacy – we salute John Fitzgerald Kennedy – J.F.K.

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 16 2018

MMC 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Women typically want to be heard and understood. So when she is telling you something – listen. And try to understand. Don’t assume that her emotion is directed at you, or even if is – that it means she doesn’t love you. Just listen, and do your best to understand what she is saying.
Women also need security. They need to know you aren’t going to leave them for a younger model, that you are going to work hard to provide, that you won’t let a rapist break into the house at night. Find ways to communicate that you will provide security.

Every woman is different and unique, and she has different and unique needs. Part of making a romance work is studying each other. So learn about her, how she receives love, and then give her that love.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

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Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

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February 15 2018

MMC 34: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 3

Episode 34: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 3

Funny how Valentine’s Day conjured up image of Cupid shooting people with a bow and arrow… sometimes, a relationship feels more like a Valentine’s Day Massacre!

How do you avoid screwing up your romance?

You have to apply grace.
No – not Grace Slick, legendary singer of Jefferson Starship.
No – not grace like a ballerina.

Grace is choosing to show favor whether it is merited or not.

Your partner isn’t perfect. She’s gonna mess up sometimes. As are you. You’re going to leave your underwear on the floor again, or she’s going to spend money without checking with you first. She’s going to lose her cool and call you a name. You’re gonna stub your toe and swear in front of the kids.

It’s going to happen. You will make mistakes.

A good romance applies grace – it doesn’t ignore the mistakes – it chooses to forgive and work with them.

Are there things that are irreconcilable? Sure. But if you want a romance to work – you have to choose to do everything in your power to reconcile as much as you possible can.

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Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

Marriage - Masculinity - Manhood, Manlihood

February 14 2018

MMC 33 – Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

As we approach Valentine’s Day – let’s look at how we can prevent a Valentine’s Day Massacre.
How can we avoid the carnage of a bad romance? Sorry Lady Gaga, a bad romance is NOT a good thing…

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

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Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/mmc-33-valentines-day-massacre-how-not-to-screw-up-your-romance-part-2-manlihood-mancast

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

___________

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 1 2018

MMC 24: What you think – you ARE – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-24-what-you-think-you-are-s-1618-442-pm

Episode 24:

What you think – you ARE

Your mind is a powerful thing. I’m not talking about Uri Gellar spoon bending stuff. I’m talking about the fact that what you think about affects your actions and your behaviors. What we need is mind-control – more accurately – self-control.

If you think about something, you’ll be drawn to it. That hot girl at work? Fantasize about her, and you’ll be drawn to her. That cigarette? That donut? Yeah.

Thoughts pop into our head, and then we chose to reject them, or entertain them.

“Sit down and stay awhile! Have a cup of coffee!”

I guess what we need to do is treat some of our thoughts like door to door salesmen. If someone comes to your door and asks if he can come inside and throw some dirt on your floor to demonstrate his vaccuum cleaner – you would probably tell him “No thanks! See you later!”

And yet – if a friend stopped by with a meatloaf and wanted to visit – we’d say “Come on in!”

We need to stop being PASSIVE about what thoughts can take residence in our head.

Here’s a good checklist.

Is it true?
Is it honorable?
Is it just?
Is it pure?
Is it caring?
Is it commendable?
Is it good?
Is it worth sharing?

A PASSIVE mind let’s itself be raped and abused by thoughts that don’t belong there.

Do your thoughts say harsh and cruel things about yourself? Do they say harsh and cruel things about others? Are they full of anger and spite? Are they full of illicit sex? Are they selfish?

If so – chances are good that whatever you LET in your head will eventually come OUT in your life.

Don’t let those kinds of thoughts settle in. Kick them out. Replace them with GOOD thoughts.

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-what-you-think-you-are/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

January 26 2018

MMC20 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be a Better Man

Episode 20: Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 4 – Be a Better Man

A wise man once told that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results.The same guy told me about the CANEI Principle. (Constant and Never Ending Improvement)

I think that all too often, as men, we don’t give any thought at all to our own self-improvement. We do our job, we come home, we go to bed, we get up – and we do it all again.

I think that it is important to understand that our children – even when they are babies, are learning from us. When we look at them – we can SEE the CANEI principle at work, right? They start off pooping and screaming, and then gradually learn to walk and talk and wipe their own butts. Soon, they are reading, building with legos, playing football, driving, dating, marrying, and parenting!

It’s important for us to try not to forget our need to improve as well! We want our little boys to grow up to be good men, who never stop improving! We want our little girls to be good women, who keep growing and maturing, right?

Part of being a good dad is to constantly be striving to be a better man.

Your kids are watching every step you take. And what they see will determine how they live the rest of their lives. Yeah – I know that’s a big challenge. If you don’t measure up – at least let them see you trying to improve.

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here: