personal development for men

February 2 2018

MMC 25: Watch your mouth! – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-25-watch-your-mouth-z-1618-448-pm

Episode 25: Watch your mouth!

Men, The words you speak have power – and they affect what happens in your life!

Passive people don’t bother controlling their mouths. They let their mouths control THEM. These are the kinds of words that come out of the mouth of passive men.

Gossip- Talking about someone else’s business – whether it is true or not is gossip. Bottom line is – if it’s not your business – then you should not be talking about it!
Anger- There is a time and a place for anger. It’s a valid emotion, and there are proper ways to express it. But more often than not – we should just shut up, rather than snap at people we love.
Criticism- We hate it when people tell us how to do our job – but we’re often full of criticism toward others. We ride our kids about their grades, their appearance, their chores. We gripe about our wives, we complain about our jobs and or bosses, and our employees. Their work and effort is never enough. When you die – your family will remember the words you have spoken. Do you want them to remember all the times you told them how to stack the plates? Or do you want them to remember how good you made them feel when they did something right?

The truth is we need to replace these words with the kind of words that make a positive difference! Let’s offer words that resolve conflicts, that encourage people, and build them up. Make it a point to think before you speak!

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here:
http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-watch-your-mouth/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
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February 1 2018

MMC 24: What you think – you ARE – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-24-what-you-think-you-are-s-1618-442-pm

Episode 24:

What you think – you ARE

Your mind is a powerful thing. I’m not talking about Uri Gellar spoon bending stuff. I’m talking about the fact that what you think about affects your actions and your behaviors. What we need is mind-control – more accurately – self-control.

If you think about something, you’ll be drawn to it. That hot girl at work? Fantasize about her, and you’ll be drawn to her. That cigarette? That donut? Yeah.

Thoughts pop into our head, and then we chose to reject them, or entertain them.

“Sit down and stay awhile! Have a cup of coffee!”

I guess what we need to do is treat some of our thoughts like door to door salesmen. If someone comes to your door and asks if he can come inside and throw some dirt on your floor to demonstrate his vaccuum cleaner – you would probably tell him “No thanks! See you later!”

And yet – if a friend stopped by with a meatloaf and wanted to visit – we’d say “Come on in!”

We need to stop being PASSIVE about what thoughts can take residence in our head.

Here’s a good checklist.

Is it true?
Is it honorable?
Is it just?
Is it pure?
Is it caring?
Is it commendable?
Is it good?
Is it worth sharing?

A PASSIVE mind let’s itself be raped and abused by thoughts that don’t belong there.

Do your thoughts say harsh and cruel things about yourself? Do they say harsh and cruel things about others? Are they full of anger and spite? Are they full of illicit sex? Are they selfish?

If so – chances are good that whatever you LET in your head will eventually come OUT in your life.

Don’t let those kinds of thoughts settle in. Kick them out. Replace them with GOOD thoughts.

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-what-you-think-you-are/

January 31 2018

Episode 23: Be Aggressive/Assertive/Positive – Manlihood ManCast

https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-23-be-aggressiveassertivepositive-1618-436-pm
Episode 23: Be Aggressive/Assertive/Positive

Passive men will let life happen to them. They will say, “Whatever!” when faced with a decision – they will let their wives and kids make and break the rules of their home. They’ll let their boss walk all over them. They’ll let their business, health, and relationship fall apart instead of dealing with them.

My advice is to be AGGRESSIVE – ASSERTIVE – POSITIVE

Be Aggressive

Take charge of YOUR life – and lead yourself. Hunt out the holes in your integrity, and patch them up. Set goals and crush them. Determine your path – and run it like a stinking clydesdale.

Aggression has a negative connotation – so we want to clarify – unless you are physically protecting yourself or your family from harm – aggressiveness should not be directed toward people.

Be Assertive

Communicate expectations clearly, and consistently. People cannot treat you the way you want them to treat you unless you tell them HOW to treat you. Don’t be afraid to be “the bad guy”

Be Positive

Eyeore will NEVER be on top – why? because he’s a sad-sack-hack full of sawdust and complaints.

You’ve got to use positive words. Because they are like magic.

Instead of dragging yourself and everyone around you down with negative words (I can’t /You always… / I hate… / I’ll never… ) then start filling it with positivity!

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-be-aggressiveassertivepositive/

January 30 2018

MMC22: Take Responsibility – Manlihood ManCast

Episode 22: Take Responsibility

There was a phrase that I heard a boy constantly. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

Probably because I was always making excuses and passing the buck.

I have to admit – I never really understood it for a long time. Someone told me once, “If you want to get out of the mess you are in – you need to embrace the fact that you are in the position you are in because of the choices you have made.”

I’ll be honest. This pissed me off. I was an idiot – and I blamed my financial situation on the company that laid me off – on the system, which seemed designed to keep me down – on the economy – on student loan companies for tricking me into signing them – etc. etc.

Now, I hear the echoes of those words in my ears, and I realize that I really am where I am because of the choices I have made. Some of those choices were good choices – but even good choices have tough consequences!

No one is holding you down. No one is keeping you back.

Stop blaming racism, politics, bullies, your crappy parents, your ex-wife, your lack of friends or anything else for your problems.

Sometimes, I think our “problems” are really just opportunities to test our metal. We look at them as holes that we fall into, when really, they are the CHANCE to prove to ourselves and those around us just what kind of men we are!

But it won’t happen if we make excuses. It won’t happen if we blame others (even if they are to blame!)

This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here:
http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-take-responsibility/

January 28 2018

MMC21: Man Crush Monday – Remember Me?

Today we’re going go take a look at our Man Crush Monday – where we honor men who have exemplified character, courage, and honor. Today, we’re going to look at a very memorable American who fled to another country, and fought for their independence.

These days, tensions in Washington DC are often hot. Accusations against politicians happen every day. But on this occasion, William Stanbery was dragged out into the street and beaten with a Hickory Cane. His attacker came to DC to stick up for the rights of indigenous peoples, and expose the government frauds who were mistreating them.

But Washington politics weren’t ready for accountability – so the attacker was brought to trial and fined $500 – in those days – a small fortune. He fled the country – and went to a newly formed Republic, where he was commissioned as a Major General in the Army. He fought hard, and climbed the ranks to Commander in Cheif, when he signed that country’s Declaration of Independence on his 43rd Birthday.

It was under his watch that a 13 Day enemy siege at a small church was lost to the enemy. So he mustered the ragtag troops -a very small force compared to the massive and well trained army. It took him a little over a month to whip those boys into shape – but they went up against the full force of the Mexican military – and won in 18 minutes, because this little army new to strike when the Mexican army would be taking their afternoon Siesta.

And our hero led the Army of the Republic of Texas to victory – with the rallying cry to “Remember the Alamo!”

Grit, Courage, Justice, Perseverance – that’s Why Sam Houston is today’s Man Crush Monday

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

January 26 2018

MMC20 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be a Better Man

Episode 20: Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 4 – Be a Better Man

A wise man once told that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results.The same guy told me about the CANEI Principle. (Constant and Never Ending Improvement)

I think that all too often, as men, we don’t give any thought at all to our own self-improvement. We do our job, we come home, we go to bed, we get up – and we do it all again.

I think that it is important to understand that our children – even when they are babies, are learning from us. When we look at them – we can SEE the CANEI principle at work, right? They start off pooping and screaming, and then gradually learn to walk and talk and wipe their own butts. Soon, they are reading, building with legos, playing football, driving, dating, marrying, and parenting!

It’s important for us to try not to forget our need to improve as well! We want our little boys to grow up to be good men, who never stop improving! We want our little girls to be good women, who keep growing and maturing, right?

Part of being a good dad is to constantly be striving to be a better man.

Your kids are watching every step you take. And what they see will determine how they live the rest of their lives. Yeah – I know that’s a big challenge. If you don’t measure up – at least let them see you trying to improve.

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here:

January 25 2018

MMC19 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be Proactive

Be a proactive parent

A pastor once painted a picture for me that really sunk in.

A Thermometer measures the temperature in the room. It is reactive. A Thermostat sets the temperature in the room. It is Pro-Active. Be a Thermostat.

The truth is, Dads, that we set the temperature of our homes – if we’re grumpy – everyone is grumpy. (Preaching to myself here folks!)

But more importantly – if we are reacting to the stress, if we are reacting to our kid’s mouthiness, if we are reacting to our frustrations with our wives, then we are operating in such a way that we are causing damage. We’re not supposed to measure the temperature – we’re supposed to set it!

Instead of REACTING to the stress of the situation – we need to be PROACTIVE – that means taking the time to think ahead and try to prevent it. It means when a situation occurs, our approach is to offer solutions, not complaints!

When unexpected situations do arise, how we react says everything to our kids. If they screw up, and we react by shaming them, instead of teaching them, if we react by exploding in anger, instead of correcting them, we end up creating a mess of other issues down the road.
Let’s commit to be proactive in how we parent! Let’s commit to control our emotions, rather than to be controlled BY our emotions.

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here:

http://www.manlihood.com/welcome-to-daddyhood-part-3-be-pro-active/

January 25 2018

MMC18 – Welcome to Daddyhood – Be Involved

Be Involved as a father

I remember the moment when I found out that my wife was not only pregnant with one child- but with TWINS. (Those twins were born on our one year wedding anniversary – which was the Fourth of July – they are now adults!)

It was one of the scariest and most exciting moments of my life. There was no air in that little exam room when the nurse swung around the ultrasound machine, and I saw two little lumps of love on the screen.

Being a dad has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done in this life. I hope that when I die – and people talk about me, the first thing they say is, “He was such a good dad.”

I know I’ve not been a perfect father – but I am proud of how my kids are turning out. Sometimes because of me and sometimes in spite of me.

Kids need their dads to Be Involved. This means so many things – not the least of which is conversation. Have a conversation with your kids every day. Ask about their day, about their school, about their homework.

When they are too young to talk? Talk to them anyway!

(Note – Mom needs you to be involved too – change diapers, clean up messes, rock babies to sleep)

Play games, build towers, dig holes, wrestle in the floor, and jump in leaves.

Kids love and need to have fun with Dad. Be sure to include Mom in this nonsense. She might say she doesn’t have time for such things – but she needs them too!

Kids need you to be involved in the not so fun stuff too – discipline – correction – punishment.

Dad, you really need to take the LEAD in these things – rather than just ignore them and leave them for Mom to do!

This was originally published in January of 2015. See the full post here:

Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 2 – Be Involved

Manlihood - Be a better man | Personal Development for Men

January 19 2018

Episode 15 – Manlihood Mancast – Standing on Principle

Principle is a powerful thing.
If you are a man without clearly identified principles, you are drifting across the sea of life, and will be tossed around like a leaf when the storms roll in.

If you have a principled life – you can drop anchor and weather the storm.

What are your principles? Have you ever taken the time to jot them down on paper?
What core beliefs shape who you are?

From the time we are young, we are taught to follow our heart. We’re taught that we are supposed to let our heart be our guide.

I’m honestly not sure what buffoon came up with that advice – but I’ll tell you this – following your heart has allowed a generation of men to rise up to the surface – and then just flounder.
Flopping along with whatever they “feel” to guide them.
Don’t follow your heart… follow your principles.

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

January 17 2018

Episode 13 – Manlihood Mancast – What Legacy Will We Leave?

No one thinks about legacy until it is too late to leave one. My oldest kids are now grown – 18 years old and attending college. I can’t help but wonder if I invested that 18 years wisely.. I often wonder if I’ve wasted much of it on things that don’t really matter, and allowed him to do the same.

What happens if we honestly evaluate our legacy?

I know many men who have met their end, whose legacy is that they were an abusive, angry drunk. I know many others, who are known as men of love and loyalty and courage.

Ultimately, your legacy will outlive you. What actions in your life are you purposefully using to build that legacy, so that your children will carry on your values, and enter the world ready to make a mark?