What if you have no example? Find a Mentor

I’ve been very fortunate to have a good dad, who raised me well.

Not everyone has that luxury. Not everyone has a good example, and so they often find themselves scratching their heads wondering how to be a better man, without a good father figure to use as a template. Here’s my advice for those guys.


First of all, find a mentor. That’s not an easy task, because you don’t just walk up to a random old dude and say, “Will you be my mentor?”

Mentorship happens organically, and you can’t just force it. Many men don’t even know HOW to mentor, and often mentor others by accident. It’s not a mentor’s responsibility to mentor, it’s the responsibility of the mentee to seek mentorship and appropriate it.

So – start by looking at the other men in your life. Are there any men that you want to be like? Any men that you admire? Start spending time with them. Start asking them questions.  

If there aren’t any in your life – or anyone that you can identify – then start locating where those men would be. Maybe they gather at the Rotary Club, or the Vets club, or the golf course, or the church. I don’t know who you admire, or what qualities you want in your life, but I know that an ancient proverb says that “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Find men that are doing what you do only better, and find how you can learn from them.
I’ve found that simply just asking questions is a great way to be mentored. And I get more and better answers if I spend time with people, and contribute to the friendship.